Life in Canada is about doing all these household chores and more, all by yourself. All that while managing work, career, an active social life and pursuing other interests. Full, packed days. Where is the time to look after a baby?
We talked that in India there would be relatives who would help take care of the baby, maids who would clean the house, cook food and help with a hundred other chores that maintaining a household involves. However, having a baby in India remained wishful thinking, we got pregnant and Myrah was born in Toronto. James and I worked together as a team and managed the first three months ourselves, with help from friends. We did not have parents come over from India – as is typically done – to help us through this transition. While I took care of the baby mainly, James looked after the household. It worked quite well and, thankfully, things went smoothly for us.
We did have moments when we felt overwhelmed, and wished we had less chores and more time for ourselves. Or that we could pause for a few days and take it slow. And at times like these, we wished for maids from India!
I have been in India on vacation for a month now, and where maids are concerned this is not the India we knew and left behind. Every family I meet here talks about how difficult it is to get domestic help, and even if somebody is available, how frightfully expensive it is. I see my mother, cousins and aunts, all struggling to keep things moving with only limited help from maids and others. All my plans of taking a break from the chores, because of the help available in India, have disappeared! I seem to be doing more work now, than when back in Canada (especially since my hard working husband is back home!!). With aging parents, I do all baby related work myself, and do more around the house too.
North American cities are equipped to help you live a maid-free life. India is reaching the maid-free phase, minus the facilities that are required to help one with this way of life. Parents talk about the difficulties in raising children with a working mother, with increasing nuclear families, immediate family is not close by; grandparents – who are usually the biggest source of family help- often live in different cities, leaving parents to fend for themselves.
Like all other aspects of life, lifestyle in India is also going the North American way. Although still not reached the same level of independence, India is surely moving in that direction. With the country being on a path of development, maids are finding new jobs; and Indian couples like us, discussing babies, are also left with only wishful talks about the abundance of domestic help.
PS: The situation I am exposed to is mainly in Kerala, and to a limited extent, other South Indian cities. Perhaps the scene is different in other parts of India?
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