To Ferber or Not to Ferber - Questions about Sleep Training

Hello all,

I apologize for my very long hiatus from blogging. Now that I have completed my doctorate, we decided to start our family. On July 24, 2009, Anokhi arrived with all the bells and whistles.

  
Life has not been the same since. While I found balancing full time work with my studies was difficult, having a baby has redefined the word "busy" for my husband and I. Now that Anokhi is almost 6 months old, things are sort of (and I say, sort of) starting to make sense and I hope to be able to have more time to blog.

For this blog, I'd like to talk about sleep training. As many of you who have children may know, there is a ton of information out there on how to help a baby learn to fall asleep (and stay asleep) on his or her own. There is the Ferber method, which involves leaving a baby to cry him/herself to sleep. With this method, you put the baby down fully awake and let him/her fall asleep without you rocking, nursing, or holding the baby to sleep. You may go in to calm the baby every few minutes, but you slowly increase the time you wait before you go into the room despite how hysterically the baby may be crying. This method has often been called the "cry it out" method because the baby essentially learns that crying is not going to get mommy or daddy to come in so I may as well put myself to sleep. A more moderate approach has been termed the "no cry sleep solution" wherein, as the name suggests, the parents work with the child to help him/her learn how to fall asleep without crying for prolonged periods of time. 

People who have used the Ferber method swear by it and say that they have been saved from insanity (and long, sleepless nights) by this method. Others argue that it is unimaginable to leave such a tiny human being who depends on you for everything to cry him or herself to sleep, explaining that it is more important to focus on bedtime routines and teaching the baby that sleep is a natural part of the day. Also, research that supports the no cry sleep solution explains that leaving a baby to cry for such a long period of time may leave him or her feeling abandoned and may negatively affect their self-esteem in the future.

What my husband and I are trying with Anokhi is a balance of both these approaches. We try to put Anokhi down in her crib awake, but we do not let her cry for long. If she initially whimpers, we wait until she actually begins to cry. Once she cries, we go into her room and gently pat her on the back while whispering "shhh". This is an approach that is a version of the Baby Whisperer approach, which falls under the no-cry sleep method. So far, Anokhi seems to be able to put herself to sleep. However, she gets up several times at night for what we think are feeds (or it may just be that she wants one of us to go into her room and help her fall back to sleep). We do go and help her fall back to sleep and are trying to determine how to help her stay asleep. However, she is almost 6 months and may in fact need to be fed because babies go through growth spurts and 3 and 6 months. We are going to wait and see how she is in a few weeks. Thank goodness for maternity leave!

I would love to hear your experiences with sleep training and look forward to your questions and comments.

Hoping for a good night's sleep (or 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep, for now).

Keenjal

Comments

[Science Mama]

My baby was also born July 2009 and we just started the Ferber sleep method last night. The initial put-to-sleep went smoothly (but it always has). He woke up twice (1:15 and 3:15) and cried for almost an hour each time. Can you give me more details about how it went for you?

[jackson physician]

Silence means everything.

[Coach Outlet]

The Embassy listed arguments being made by supporters of the coup to claim its legality, and dismissed them thus: "none ... has any substantive validity under the Honduran constitution." The Honduran milasdfitary clearly had no legal authority to remove President Zelaya from office or from Honduras, the Embassy said, and their action - the Embassy described it as an "abduction" and "kidnapping" - was clearly unconstitutional.

[pinnacle security]

Your system should be your bodyguard. It shouldn’t sleep or go out with you.Have you ever heard of a door burglar.