Practical Parenting

Fecal transplant!!!! Disgusting but interesting and life saving!!!!!!

 

  Poop Transplant!!!!! By Dr Ritu Walia

 

DO YOU MIND IF I KEEP YOUR POOP

 

Stool transplanted from a healthy person (donor) to a sick patient is being widely performed across North America by gastroenterologists. This transfer of stool is done as to cure patients with chronic infections due to bugs such as Clostridium difficile and now more recently for inflammatory bowel disease. C. difficile infection diarrhea and affects about 3 million people per year. The rate of hospitalizations due to this infection amongst children in the United States has also increased tremendously. Typically, these infections are treated with antibiotics such as metronidazole and vancomycin. These antibiotics can also make the infection worse by killing off beneficial bacteria and allowing the C diff. to survive. These recurrent infections can be very severe in children and the elderly.

                                             

                             The art of stool transfer             

The mere thought of the transfer of the good bacteria from the colon of one person into the colon of another — is just plain disgusting. But works according to Dr Rahil Khan, infectious disease specialist at the University of West Virginia. No matter how yucky it sounds-it works. It decreases the deaths and sickness due to bugs such as Clostridium diffcile infections. This infection is increasing and poses a huge burden on patients and hospitals for infection control.

Though there are many physicians who perform this procedure in adults, only a handful of physicians have been successful in performing this procedure in children.  Dr. Sudhir Dutta and his team of physicians including Dr. Ritu Walia, Mohit Girhotra and Shashank Garg are one of the few physicians who have had success with therapeutically transplanting stool in children from a healthy person also called the donor.

This concept is not new but was used in china in the fourth century to cure patients with food poisoning or
severe diarrhea. The patient was made to drink the stool. It may sound evil but it cured the patient.

A two year old male patient was referred from Johns Hopkins to Dr Dutta and walia. He had many episodes of diarrhea due to Clostridium difficile. Antibiotics were given many a times but the child continued to have symptoms of diarrhea and blood in the stool. His weight and length started dropping. Dr Dutta and his team then decided to perform the stool transplant also known as fecal microbiota transplant. The morning before the procedure, stool was collected from the mother who was tested for many stool and blood infections. This stool was then made into a solution by the microbiology department. The patient received the mothers stool specimen into his intestine though a colonoscopy n.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonoscopy done under general anesthesia. The patient's symptoms improved after 48 hours and now one year after the transplant he has gained weight and is thriving. He has not had any more symptoms of blood in his stool; stomach cramping that is commonly seen in patients with these bugs. www.today.com/.../fecal-transplant-mom-cures-ailing-t...

 Dr. Dutta and his team of doctors Walia, Girhotra and Garg have since then performed this procedure in many other children. Dr. Dutta has also a vast experience of performing this procedure in the older population.

 

Dr. Sachin Kunde has used this technique in children with inflammatory bowel disease especially ulcerative colitis. Ulcerative colitis is an inflammation of the colon where the person’s immunity turns against them. These patients require steroids and other medications that suppress their immunity. Often these patients don't respond to any medication and often require surgical removal of the colon. According to Dr Kunde if conventional treatment fails then this technique of fecal transplant should be performed before sending a patient to surgery.

Fecal transplants — can be done by transplanting fecal material through an
enema, colonoscopy or nasal tube. There was a study presented last year where adult patients were given this stool in a capsule form.www.medpagetoday.com/MeetingCoverage/.../

 

Like every procedure there are some risks. It is important to rule out infections of the blood and stool from the donor before the stool sample is collected and used. Some other diseases also need to be eliminated before the donor sample is taken. Side effects of the procedure in children still need to be studied. If used in North America for indications other than C.difficile permission from the Food and Drug Administration is needed.www.fda.gov 

 

 Dr. Ritu Walia

Pediatric Gasroentrologist

West Virginia Univeristy, Charleston

 

How to start giving your child an allowance

by Susan Spicer of Today's Parent

(source: Todays Parent)

In Margaret Johnson’s view, kids are woefully uneducated about money. “I once asked a group of school-aged children where money came from. One little girl said, ‘From the machine,’ and when I asked what happened when the machine ran out, she replied, ‘You just go to another machine.’”

Her advice to counter this attitude? “In order to learn about money, kids need to have some of their own. An allowance is a great way to do this,” says Johnson, who in addition to being president and CEO of Solutions Credit Counselling in Surrey, BC, volunteers her time teaching elementary school students about money.

Johnson says six- to eight-year-olds are ready for a little money of their own, even though some will head straight to the candy store. But parents shouldn’t place restrictions on what happens to it. “Better to learn from their mistakes at this age than when they’re older,” says Johnson. And there are ways to teach saving as well as spending. Here’s how:

Make it real: Johnson recommends giving the allowance in coins. “Kids love to look at them and touch them, and they can put them into their banks.” Show her that five pennies equal a nickel, two nickels equal a dime, and so on. “They start to see how it works,” says Johnson.

Decide on the amount: Chelsea Reynolds gives her daughters, Bryn, eight, and Tegan, six, $2 a week. Other parents use a rule of thumb like 50 cents for every year of age. Johnson suggests parents consider what they can afford and what they expect their children to use the money for. Be sure to give the allowance consistently, perhaps every Saturday morning.

Encourage goals: “Learning to manage money starts with goals,” says Johnson. “Ask your child, ‘If you had a lot of money, what would you do with it?’ If there’s something he wants to buy, price it out together and figure out how long it will take him to save for it. This gets kids thinking a little more long-term,” says Johnson.

Share family values: Talk with kids about how you spend, save or donate the family income, and why: “Mom and Dad put aside money every week for our vacation. Would you like to save some of your allowance so that you have some extra spending money?”

Get to know the bank: “Making a deposit is one of my girls’ favourite things to do,” says Reynolds. “We go to the teller and they love to get the little slip.”

“The child sees savings grow over time and understands that banks have a responsibility to care for people’s money,” says Johnson. Most banks offer no-fee children’s savings accounts.

Don’t tie allowances to chores: “The purpose of an allowance is to teach kids about money, not pay them for work,” says Johnson.

“My girls are expected to make their beds and put their dishes in the dishwasher,” says Reynolds, “and, in fact, they brought up the idea of an allowance by asking what they could do to get one. But we’ve never withheld it or threatened to take it away if they didn’t do their chores.”

Be careful about credit: “If you give children money when they’ve burned through their allowance, the lesson is: If I run short, I can always get more,” says Johnson.

And, if you allow them to borrow from you, you’re actually encouraging debt.

Reynolds, however, thinks a short-term loan is OK once in a while: “We were at the farmers’ market and Tegan wanted to buy a bouquet of flowers. She had $3.63 with her; the flowers were $6. I lent her the money and she paid me back out of her piggy bank as soon as we got home.” Reynolds thinks that experience actually helped Tegan understand how money works. “There was an immediate connection,” says Reynolds, between how much money she had and how much the flowers cost her.

(This article first appeared in Todays Parent)

Oh! That poop---

 

Did you know that approximately 3 percent of general
and 25 percent of pediatric gastroenterology out-patient visits are due to
constipation? So you are not alone.  So
let’s talk about the symptoms of constipation that your child may experience if
constipated. 

Children tend to present with

1. Difficulty in having a bowel movement for  two weeks
   or more
2. Less than three bowel movements  per week
3. More than 1 episode of fecal soiling per week. I always ask the question if parents do see
   any stool in the underpants. If they do how often.
4. Large stools that tend to clog the toilet and are accompanied with pain on passing stool and
   rectal bleeding
5. Abdominal pain/discomfort and increased gas
6. Withholding behaviors (such as not using restroom at school or other social events )
7. The Potty dance sequence –quite an interesting and unusual name. I am sure so many of us
   have seen our children withhold stool by contracting their anal
   sphincter and gluteal muscles. They tend to stand on tier toes and squeeze
   their buttocks

 

If you do see these symptoms please consult your
doctor as they may need to be treated with stool softeners and bowel cleanouts.
Often times though changing dietary habits and increasing the amount of fluids
can be sufficient. Treating in a timely manner is important to prevent complications
such as fecal soiling also called encopresis.

Most of the times constipation
may be due to behavioral or psycho-social issues and is called functional and
rarely other organic causes may identified. So consulting your pediatrician is
very important when these symptoms arise. They may need to check the thyroid
and ask you questions pertaining to diet and medications.

 

What do you expect at the pediatrician’s office?

 

The pediatrician may need to take a full history and
perform a complete physical exam. This may often include pressing on the belly
to feel stool. Yes!  At time they do can
feel stools- But this is a very subjective finding. They may also need to look
at the child’s bottom –the area called the anus--- where you tend to stool.
They may also at times look if there are any tears in the anus—that may also be
responsible for any blood loss. These tears are also called anal fissures. They
can be painful and children often complain of a burning while they poop.  The doctor after permission from you and
explaining the procedure to your child may need to put a finger in the
rectum—where a child poops form to see if it is too tight or loose. If there is
any stool then whether it is hard or not?

Depending on which the doctor may order an  X-rays and blood work.  Medication may or may not be advised.

 

So please call your pediatrician if your child is
experiencing any of these symptoms.

 

Blogged by Ritu Walia, MD, FACG

 

Motherhood full of contradiction: Nandita Das

Terming motherhood as a "contradiction" of life, actor-director Nandita Das said the happy stereotypical perception about motherhood is very different in reality.

Das was speaking at a book launch of an anthology "Of Mother and Other" at the Indian International Centre here.

"When I was pregnant, no one told me how many difficulties one actually has to face. Everybody is happy and they congratulate you, but nobody shares the issues of motherhood," the actor said. 

"The whole journey of motherhood is full of contradictions," she added. 

Stating that having a child is a matter of personal choice, the award-winning actress said that being a mother has completely changed her life.

Jaishree Mishra, editor of the book, said: "When I was introduced to the figures of child malnutrition, infant mortality rates, female foeticide, I choked with an overwhelming emotion of sadness. It motivated me to bring about the issues of women and that reflects the realities our mothers face."

"The most common discourse about motherhood in our society does not usually talk about children with special needs. There are many children in our society which are differently abled but our discourse would generally neglect it," contributing writer of the anthology Shalini Singh said, asserting that the motivation to write was more personal to her, as she herself is a mother of a son with special needs.

Talking about the sensitive issue of gender determination, writer Smriti Lamech said the issue is engraved in the mentally of society and there was an immediate need to change it. "I was a privileged mother. I was determined to have a girl child. But not many mothers are that privileged," she said.

Journalist Humra Qureshi, who has reported in various conflict areas, said many people in India don't know about the mothers of disappeared people. Terming her experience with such mothers emotionally exhausting and upsetting, Qureshi said that to understand the helplessness of these mothers, people need to relate to these women. 

Source: (IANS)

Bilingual Babies Know Grammar By 7 Months

Babies can differentiate between two languages and begin to learn them with vast, different grammatical structures, even at seven months, says a new research.

The study shows that infants in bilingual environments use pitch and duration cues to discriminate between languages - such as English and Japanese - with opposite word orders.

In English, a function word comes before a content word (the dog, his hat, with friends, for example) and the duration of the content word is longer, while in Japanese or Hindi, the order is reversed, and the pitch of the content word higher, the journal Nature Communications reports.

"By as early as seven months, babies are sensitive to these differences and use these as cues to tell the languages apart," said University of British Columbia (UBC) psychologist Janet Werker, study co-author.

Previous research by Werker and Judit Gervain, linguist at the Universite Paris Descartes, France, and co-author of the new study, showed that babies use frequency of words in speech to discern their significance, according to an UBC statement.

"For example, in English the words 'the' and 'with' come up a lot more frequently than other words - they're essentially learning by counting," said Gervain. 

"But babies growing up bilingual need more than that, so they develop new strategies that monolingual babies don't necessarily need to use."

"If you speak two languages at home, don't be afraid, it's not a zero-sum game," said Werker. 

"Your baby is very equipped to keep these languages separate and they do so in remarkable ways."

These findings were presented at the 2013 Annual Meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) in Boston.

Source (IANS)

Toddler Management

This parenting business is getting quite complex.

I wonder how our parents got the wisdom to raise us. What are the risks they took? How did they arrive at decisions they believed are right for us? I am having to take decisions everyday – not one, several decisions.  Decisions I know can have a big impact on a child’s life, but they come hurling at me at a speed that doesn’t favour serious thinking and research or deep analysis. Gotta make those decisions on the go. I am the Chief Executive of this complex company that my growing toddler is building.

As Myrah moves to her “terrible two” phase, I can see the onslaught coming! My patience is being tested, my anger management skills have to kick in, I have to go to the negotiating table every now and then. How much discipline is good discipline? When does the loving pampering mom give way to the strict parent? At what point should I raise my voice to make a point? When should I stop wondering if I should force her down and shove food down her throat (I must admit there are times when I have had the urge to do that!)? How do I teach her to share, and stop fighting with other kids when they take her stuff? At which age should I insist that she can’t leave the bathroom after eating the paste, instead of brushing her teeth?

Myrah is increasingly developing a mind of her own and is showing (screaming) it too. She can cry at the drop of a hat, throw things around to show displeasure, push and shove to display her anger, turn her face the other side when I look her in the eye with a strict face, refuse to open her mouth to eat, adamantly say no to sitting in her car seat (at which point we have to pretend we are leaving without her!) and prostrate on the ground in protest right in the middle of a parking lot.

I am not sure if there is a right or wrong answer. As parents we have to deal with these situations in the best way possible for us. I have to figure out what is the boundary I want to draw for me and my child, under circumstances that are unique to me. And stick to them. And believe they are the right choices.

Not only does one have to negotiate with the child, one has to navigate the spouse too. Be ready to sharpen your team spirit and willingness to compromise if you and your spouse don’t agree on some of the boundaries. Or you might be the one kicking and screaming in protest! As mothers, women tend to want to handle things in the most ideal way. We want to push ourselves, thinking we can make things perfect.  Men tend to take things more easy, and don’t have the patience to make things perfect. Or maybe they are just more practical. Women keep trying, they don’t give up so easily.

And then there is everybody around you that you have to manoeuvre in the whole process. How much easier would it be if you are the only one managing your child’s behaviour and habits and development! There is the day care, the teachers who guide her most of the day, the family who want to have their say and implement their way, the community we are surrounded with, who naturally have a role in our lives. Each one has a different style and a different perspective.

But, ultimately, you are the CEO. It is your call. Your decisions. Your compromise. Some will turn out to be good, and there will definitely be mistakes. CEOs learn on the job too. You watch, you learn, you take guidance from those who have walked the path before you, you talk to experts.  You form your expectations and design your vision and go about it with a sense of mission. Use your gut, your heart and mind. You toddler is yours to manage.

Toddler Love

I had a small accident last month and ended up with a fracture on my foot.  When you lose the use of one foot, you lose a lot of things. You lose the ability to walk, to move from one place to another, lose the ability to dress and bathe easily, to do chores at home. And you lose the ability to take care of your 18 month old daughter.

The reaction my situation evoked in my daughter Myrah was heart warming and thought-provoking at the same time.  The day the event happened, I was in a lot of pain. I could see the anxiety on Myrah’s face as she clung to her dad. In the days that followed immediately, as I sat home with a cast, and used crutches to walk around, it felt like she almost thought of me as a different person. Somebody with appendices to her body - not her mother who would come running to meet her and scoop her up in her arms. Myrah would come back from daycare and refuse to come to me. She wouldn’t let her dad put her down anywhere near me. I felt bad, but knew I had to give her a few days.  

As the days progressed, she slowly started getting used to the situation. After the initial hesitation, she would come near me, although with some trepidation. The first few times her leg touched the cast she would get upset and run away, or look at my leg very strangely! But she started bringing her toys near me and playing with me. However, her frustration at not having me move with her showed itself quite often. She would want me to pick her up and take her somewhere. She would cry, lying on the floor in protest, when I couldn’t. I felt helpless and frustrated.  My husband James had to pay extra care and attention, to make sure she felt safe and secure through it all.

As weeks passed, she became comfortable with the new me! We started playing games sitting down, she found it very exciting that I had to sit down while going up and down the stairs, and we would do that together. She held on to my crutches and walked with me wherever I went. If she sensed I was getting up to go somewhere, she would run and get my crutches for me. She wouldn’t let me walk without her by my side. I knew she delighted in being a part of the whole thing.

Eventually she became my helper – if a toddler can be that. On my requests, she wouldn’t hesitate to fetch me something, put her dirty clothes in the laundry bag, close doors, get me a towel, put things in the garbage can, even try to put cream on my feet! One day when the crutch accidentally fell on my broken foot, and I let out a small ouch, she came running, sat down and started patting my foot, while giving me loving glances. My heart melted!

I sensed that she took delight in helping me, in sharing my pain and being a part of my misery. There were times she felt unsure and anxious, and needed more attention, and assurance that it was ok for mommy to be like this. That her world will not collapse because of this. She needed to see that her safety net was still intact, and that all her needs would still be met. But I watched that fear and concern turn into loving, caring, helping, joyful moments.

I guess this is what they call the joys of motherhood.

 

The Pain and Pleasure of Breastfeeding

I didn’t know what to expect from this motherhood related task. I approached it with uncertainty. One year and a couple of months later, I can say with satisfaction, it was a mission accomplished successfully. I am talking about breastfeeding my daughter Myrah.

In India, where I come from, breastfeeding is a given. There are no two ways about it, mothers breastfeed. Period.

But in North America, women make a big deal out of it, not wanting to nurse, not sure if they can or should, and not wanting to put in the effort. Before Myrah was born, my husband James and I decided, if all goes well, we will have her breastfed exclusively for six months and continue to nurse till atleast she turns one.

Soon after Myrah was born, the enormity of the task and the daunting responsibility of breastfeeding dawned on me. I realized I am the sole provider for this tiny baby who needs all the nutrition she can get in the initial days to thrive and grow. It was a responsibility that sat heavy on me and a task I took to very seriously. Is there enough milk? Is she drinking enough? Should I feed her more often? Should I go by her demand? In those initial days, when one is getting used to the idea and the concept and the technique, it can get very overwhelming. There were midnights and early mornings when I got frustrated thinking she is not drinking enough or as much as is usual, and stress myself about why it is so. But with time, she and I learned, and we formed a pattern we both understood. I learnt to go by her demands, to be reassured that when she is hungry she will ask for it (and they can ask very loudly!) and she has the power of judgment to decide when enough is enough. As I watched her gain pounds and remain healthy, I trusted her more and took the task more lightly. The women at the breastfeeding clinic of the Region of Peel were a great help and encouraged me to stay on course. I highly recommend using your local community resources if you have questions, or find the task difficult.

It still remained a big responsibility to the end. It is limiting, in many ways, as much of your schedule gets centered around feeding times. It is just not convenient to feed in some places, so you would think twice about packing your bags and going out – you would rather wait for the feeding to be over to do that. But then new babies feed every two-three hours or lesser, so there isn’t much time between feeds anyway!

The most stressful part of my first year of motherhood was pumping breastmilk. It is a method of convenience, intended to give breastfeeding moms a break while a spouse or somebody else takes on the responsibility of feeding. This seemed like a very inviting proposition as I would then be free to do other things. I shopped around and Medela seemed to be the most widely used brand of breastpump. It turned out to be my nightmare. Pumping was difficult; it was frustrating and very time consuming. Unless you are one rare individual for whom pumping works like magic, you are bound to be upset about it. Medela didn’t help in anyway. While the company claims pumping is an emotional exercise, I refuse to believe that. I think it is an excuse they use to cover the inefficiency of their product. I conducted a little survey. Of the 10 or so new moms I talked to, not a single one was happy with her Medela breast pump. A couple of them had some success with it, but the rest gave up on it after a while. My persistent efforts to get help- even directly from Medela- didn’t’ pay any dividends and I soon forgo the luxury of a break from feedings.

I persevered at nursing and it paid off. I exclusively breastfed Myrah till she was five and a half months (till she started drooling at our meal table!). I continued to nurse her till she was thirteen months. No formula or powder milk. After one year, it was a smooth transition to homogenized milk which she has taken to well now.

It was a responsibility I was happy to bring to a close, knowing that Myrah is stronger for it. The path to getting there requires patience, perseverance and huge commitment. I recommend it to all mothers who are even in an iota of doubt. Just one caveat – think twice about pumping (atleast with a Medela pump)!

Single and ready to survive…

Soon after Myrah turned one, I was faced with a situation I dreaded – James, my husband, had to go away on business travels for 10 days and I was left with the task of managing home, work and a one-year-old on my own. These were still Myrah’s initial days in daycare and she had not yet completely settled down. The week before he travelled, she got her first real illness – a fever that lasted 8 days. So I was pretty nervous when the time came for him to pack and leave and I was to be a single parent of sorts.

For those readers who are used to having extended family or domestic help at home, let me set the scene of what this entails. It means there is literally nobody to help you cook meals, watch the baby, clear the table, clean the mess from a one year old’s meal times, clean the kitchen, keep a tidy house, throw garbage and recycling, do grocery shopping, drop and pick up the baby from daycare, drive to and from work, put the baby to sleep, change her diapers, get her ready for the day, give her a bath, make sure she eats, rests, ensure she doesn’t get into trouble, is entertained well, attend phone calls, collect mail, make sure doors are locked at night, gas is filled in the car, clothes are washed, dried and folded and a 100 other things I am just not remembering now - and all these with a night of short, interrupted sleep .  Does the list sound daunting enough?

As the ten days rolled by, it didn’t seem that daunting, thankfully. It was very hectic and a lot of work, but I survived pretty ok. Very little was out of the ordinary, which helped me to plan things ahead and not deal with unexpected situations or uncertainties. Also, I took the liberty of not doing certain things that could wait till I had an extra pair of hands around the house. My employer, who is always great when it comes to people issues, and my boss, who is probably the most understand boss ever, were of great support too. They let me work from home when I needed to, let me leave work early so I can be on time to pick up my daughter, and eased my burden by not adding extra work pressures on me. Yay, Maplesoft! Then there were good friends, with their promise of help when I needed it, a psychological boost knowing that there is always help to turn to.

Little victories gave me joy. Getting myself and the baby ready, dropping her in daycare and being in office well in time, after driving 100kms to work – perfect start to a day. Baby sleeps in the stroller through a grocery shopping hour - pure bliss! I even squeezed in a visit to get my eyebrows in shape, after the grocery shopping! So one day when I got stuck in a traffic jam and just couldn’t reach the day care in time to pick up my daughter, I didn’t panic. I called on a friend who very readily helped out and picked up Myrah in time. Stressful, but manageable. So overall, it didn’t seem too bad.

This is, in no way, to belittle what single parenting is actually all about. I faced only a fraction of it for 10 days, with the hope of the soon-approaching respite. But for those dads and moms who deal with it day in and day out, without a break, - and some of them with two or more kids, phew! -  I can imagine their patience, endurance, courage and positive energy. Hats off to them for their perseverance.

I have a friend whose spouse travels very frequently and she once remarked, “I have got so used to it and have set a routine for myself and my baby, that when my husband is home, it is almost like a disruption of the routine.”

We all find ways of dealing with circumstances wherever life takes us.  They may be rough, they may be daunting. But if we keep a positive attitude and resolve to make best use of it and keep the faith to persevere and keep going, we will get through tough life situations.

James is already talking about his next business trip. And this time for a longer period. And I am bracing myself to go solo again.

Overprotective Parenting

With all the media attention for Amy Chua's book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," about a parenting style that emphasizes piano and violin practice over sleepovers and playdates, it's easy to forget that similar debates were stirred three years ago by a mom who confessed that she let her 9-year-old son ride the subway alone.

Lenore Skenazy, who spun off an article she wrote for the now-defunct New York Sun newspaper into a book, "Free-Range Kids," has now teamed with a Canadian reality show producer in search of parents who want to learn how to loosen up.

Cineflix, the Toronto company behind shows like "Conviction Kitchen" and "Property Virgins," is currently recruiting families for a series in which Skenazy will give first-hand advice on how to be less neurotic.

Better still, of course, if one of the two parents in a family is more stubbornly overprotective than the other.

"Most of us thrived on the freedom our parents gave us," Skenazy explained in an invitation to prospective television show subjects.

"Think of the joy of riding a bike around the neighbourhood. Think of the skills involved in organizing our own baseball games. Think of the responsibility we took on — and rose to — when we babysat at 11, or sold cookies door-to-door without a security detail."

The argument Skenazy put forth in "Free-Range Kids" was supported by statistics that the American crime rate is now lower than when today's parents of young children were growing up in the '70s and '80s.

Today, the incessant arguments in the media about how kids should be raised seem like an even bigger threat to their collective sanity.

"Free-Range Kids" and "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" may not be that far apart in philosophy, explained Skenazy, who has admitted to liking Chua's "base assumption that kids are competent and can do things well."

While the two authors clash over the value of unstructured playtime, Skenazy has suggested the new era of over-sharing personal information — which has compelled some parents to obsessively compare details of how they treat their kids behind closed doors — might be doing more harm than good to the process of child-rearing.

But then, reality television depends on a certain voyeurism, even if Skenazy is aspiring to couch it in advice on how to stop the trend of "over-helicoptering."

"Free-Range Kids" producers is now casting Canadian families, for filming later this year in Toronto, even if its subway grid is nowhere near as complicated as the one in New York.

This article first appeared HERE.

Separation Anxiety

It hit me with no preamble or preparation. And I was caught unawares. It was tough and taxing, probably the most traumatic week of the first year of motherhood.

Baby centre describes separation anxiety as “a psychological term that means your toddler can't bear to be without you” and goes on to say “the crisis age for most babies is between 12 to 18 months”.

My daughter is 12 months and I started leaving her in daycare. A lethal combination. The first week of full time daycare was so unlike what she has been in the first year of her life. I have never seen her cry so much or be so upset about anything.

Our trial visits to the daycare centres went well. She happily played with the toys in the centre and even stayed with the day care staff for a couple of hours alone. Even then, when she started full time, I knew she would be upset and was mentally prepared for it. But I was not prepared for what happened.

She cried when I left her there, which was anticipated. But when I picked her up at the end of the half day (first couple of days I sent her only for half days), her eyes told me how much pain she was in. My heart broke when she burst into tears the minute she saw me. Not a happy and relieved smile on seeing me, but more tears to say why did you do this to me. I knew there would be some crying with strangers, but not that it would continue even at home.

She came home and clung on to me as if I was going to leave her the next minute. For two days, she would get upset at changing diapers, getting dressed, sitting in the car seat or even giving her a bath. This, I was not expecting. For a few days after that, every now and then she would go into what seemed like an anxiety attack when all that could console her was me holding her tight and calming her down. Nobody told me about this part.

Those days were tough and overwhelming. For her and for me. Thankfully after a couple of days she was normal after coming home. During the day, at the day care centre, the staff told me, she got increasingly better, but still had tears every now and then. As the routine continued for the next few days, she knew when I was getting her ready for daycare, she recognized the place when I took her out of the car, the faces of other kids and the staff became familiar and she clung on to when she spotted them in the room.

I felt helpless those first few days. I felt her pain and imagined how terrified she must be in an all-new environment all by herself. And I couldn’t do anything to help her. I had to toughen up and leave her there to figure it out for herself. My one year old baby – I felt like I was throwing her into a den of lions, for all I cared! So I came home with tears and a paining heart. And cried my heart out. All day I wondered what and how she was doing.

Here I was, thinking I have a few days to myself before I got back to work. I planned things I didn’t have time for in the one year – do some window shopping, visit friends, read a book in a café, watch movies. But I was in no frame of mind to do anything, let alone go out and have a good time.                   

It has been almost two weeks and she is settling down. Hiding outside her class room, I realized the initial tears settled down a few minutes after I disappeared from sight. Although she looks at me with very sympathetic and teary eyes when she sees me in the evening, I increasingly find her playing around when I go to pick her up.

So things are getting better. But in that first week, it felt like a hurricane hit me, and there was nothing I could do to make it go away. New parents, prepare yourself. It is going to be hard. For you and them. Each baby is different and I hope your experience is not a difficult one. Nobody can prepare you enough, but just know that it is a tough time of transition. There will be much crying and wailing and emotions and pain. New and strange feelings will come hurling at you. Stay calm and strong through it. It is a tough but very important and essential part of growing up and parenting.