Mind Mantra

Abuse

At what point do you call it abuse? The point at which it is abuse. Abuse can be verbal, mental, emotional or physical - they are all forms of abuse. Physical abuse gets a lot of attention but mental and emotional abuse can leave deeper scars than physical abuse.

Mental abuse can take the form of name-calling and put-downs. It is often used to control the person who is being verbally abused.  You don’t have to wait for abuse to become extreme before you take action to stop it. This intimidating behaviour can erode your self-esteem at any age.  Label it and say what it is when it happens. For example: “This is verbal abuse and I want you to stop it.”

Talk to some one if you are a victim of abuse. A Family Doctor or the Crisis line can be a good staring point.  Other resources include the Family Services Association. All calls are confidential.

Passive Agressive Behaviour

What is passive aggressive behaviour? Well, passive aggressive behaviour is a big part of the Indian culture and the Indian psyche.  You see, ours is not a culture of confrontation. It is quite the opposite. South Asians go to great lengths to hide their true feelings. If they are angry about something, it is not discussed directly. But instead the anger is shown in a different way.

An angry relative may feign an illness to avoid going to a function. This relative will never give the real reason for not attending but just say he/she was not well.  Giving “the silent treatment” is also passive aggressive behaviour. You are not going to discuss why you are angry but will just ignore or avoid the other person.

Passive aggressive behaviour does not resolve issues. In fact, it makes things worse. There is more room for misunderstanding. The problem can’t be fixed if you are not willing to talk about it. The other person may never know why or what you are mad about.