IIFA 2011: Fab or Faux?

By: Kamini Elisha, Special Contributor to MyBindi.com

I don't know if anyone else was in the same predicament as me on award night.  Should I order? Should I not order? OMG, it's 40 bucks and really I could get this on DVD in a couple of weeks for $1.50 … etcetera, etcetera.

Then I started watching the OMNI coverage (comical and infuriating) and decided … hey, why not!

Well, the show started promptly on Indian standard time; almost an hour late.  This, along with a flustered and tongue-tied Lisa Ray filling in that hour gap, set the tone for the IIFA evening.

At least for me.

So the dignitaries from the Indian film industry are all seated on comfy black fold-out chairs with their names written in black marker on torn sheets of paper to identify who sits where.  Wow...classy!  What's Rogers’ profit for the first half of this year?

Anyway the hosts, Ritesh Deshmukh and Boman Irani, finally get the evening rolling and manage to get some laughs out of me, along with some blank glazed-eye stares.  Overall, I like them.  I especially enjoyed the trailer remakes they starred in and the banter with SRK.

Suddenly a grown man has lunged towards SRK and is now clinging to his legs.  I, along with some members of the audience, wasn't sure if this is scripted, or if the entire security team has gone on a collective coffee break.

Okay SRK is saying "kya kar rahe ho, pair pe laga hai."  Meanwhile the grown man is still petrified to SRK's leg reminding me of a toy monkey I had that could do the same thing, only around your neck.  This can't be real, right?

The question still haunts me.

On we go to a very lackluster performance by Kangana Ranaut (who looks as glazed as I did earlier) followed by a no-show by Priyanka Chopra for her green award.  We stared at our TV for 30 seconds listening to the IIFA theme in the background before we (and the award presenters) are told she is getting ready for her performance.  Nice job stage director.

I decide that I have already lost my $40.00 and am committed to watching this thing if only to get my money’s worth.  Second wind kicks in, and, besides, I have been waiting with bated breath for Asha ji's tribute by Priyanka.  Asha ji is my favourite singer and this will surely get me my money’s worth, right?  Wrong.

They had a Rangeela, a Rang De, a Aiye Meherban and some others.  Priyanka did a good job of grooving as she always does, but if you are going to pay tribute to an icon who has given us music for over 60 years, you should've picked a song from each decade, no?

Give me:

Reshme Rumal Kurta Jaali Ka

 

Hum Intezaar Karenge Tera Qayamat Tak

Jaaiye Aap Kahan Jaaenge

Chura Liya Hai Tumne Jo Dil Ko

Pyar Mein Dil Pe Maar De Goli

Jawane Jaaneman

Dil Cheez Kya Hai

These are just a few examples of her diversity in love songs, ghazals and disco numbers.  It also showcases her journey throughout her career which did not start in the late 60's.

Okay so to hear Asha ji accept her award in her sweet voice and sing live for us definitely gave me $25.00 worth. Where do I find my outstanding $15.00?

I attempted to find it in comical and awkward moments.

I loved Dharm ji's speech/babble.  He is all heart and all honesty and although he did carry on, it was genuine enough for me to enjoy. 

I found it comical when Anil Kapoor said Urdi Shairu before saying Urdu Shairi.  That made me giggle like a fool for a while (remember I am grasping at straws here). And then there was Sunny Deol's expression the entire time he was on stage with his dad.  He clearly looked uncomfortable and out of place just standing there. I got the feeling he was praying for Harry Potter's invisibility cloak the whole time.

I thought the most awkward moment was when Lisa Ray was presenting an award to Anushka Sharma and called her Anushka Shankar.  You were reading from a teleprompter for God's sake.  I can't make up an excuse for you even if I tried.  Karan Johar had to yell from the sidelines that "it's Anushka Sharma not Shankar."

The "Grand Finale" was supposed to be SRK shaking a leg to his hits, but the drugs were wearing off and the hour of evening was beginning to show its effects.

I have to say SRK is a real sport.  He really did try to move and groove, but he just couldn’t ignore his body's request to chill.  I appreciated the fact that he couldn't dance so he decided to help choreograph a number for the audience.  He even had some hankies distributed, but I didn't pay to see a bunch of Indians getting jiggy with it.  I've seen that plenty of times at my family's Punjabi wedding reception.

SRK had to listen to his body at which point I decided to listen to mine.  I turned off the telly (before the show ended), cut my losses and made a vow to always watch these awards shows at a cost of $1.50 a DVD from now on, AMEN.

Comments

[Disappointed]

Very well put! You at least recovered most of your $40 but what about us - who were in the most uncomfortable Level 100 seats (that we bought via Ticketmaster thank fully) ... each sitting by themselves (couldnt get seats together) and resigned to trying to text each other while waiting 2.5 hours for a show that was a massive flop? And did I mention there were 10 of us? between us, we spent $1300 ... could have saved $1298.50 if we waited until the next day when the $1.50 DVD came out with a print WAY better than the screens they put up!!

[K.E.]

Thanks for reading and commenting. I'll take this opportunity to give a well deserved shout-out to all those poor souls who sat for over 2 hours waiting for an over-hyped and over-priced show. You are the ones who deserve the ovation.

[Shalini Khanna]

Well I could not have expressed my feelings anymore eloquently than you have. I tip my hat to you for taking the time to actually speak up and state what most of us were feeling. My only saving grace was that I did not spend the $40.00 but did hear of the aftermath of this "so called" Prestigious Awards show" known as IIFA, from my in-laws and other family members. I really do feel for you and all of the people that endured this show live. By just watching the coverage of IIFA(before and after), I was flabberghasted as to how the OMNI team were interviewing certain celeberties. One of them actually had the audasity to conclude the interview with the legendary - Asha Bhonsleji by saying "ok Asha" Are you kidding me???? I would be honored to have 2 words with this Goddess of music and yet this interviewer had no sense of what she was saying. I'm sure I could go on and on but thank you for summarizing in great detail how I and many of us were feeling through this whole ordeal of a show. The Omni crew, promotors, stage directors etc. really need to learn from this experience if they ever want to attempt another show.

[derek]

I think its the Indians raised in Canada or who migrated early in the 60's who like these kind of shows