Sy in the City

Mothers and Daughters

As most of you know, my daughter Imaan has always been a precocious child - especically when it comes to sharing her views and contributing her opinions.

A few weeks ago, Ashna Singh (from MyBindi) who is working on a piece for Astitva Magazine where she profiles me, contacted Imaan to get some insights from her on the nature of the relationship that my daughter and I share.

I was unaware of this conversation and only after the entire article was finalized did I learn of this interview (and also got a chance to read Imaan's responses to some of Ashna's questions).

Seeing that this Sunday is Mother's Day, I would like to share my daughter's perspective on how she perceives a mother-daughter relationship.

1) Describe your relationship with your Mom.

Many people have stated that mothers and daughters don't always have a very good relationship,  especially when the daughter becomes a teenager. My relationship with my mum seems to defy that statement, and several times I am grateful for the loving, respectful relationship my mum and I have.

My mum is very close to me, and I share many aspects of my life with her. We are alike in many ways: we have similar hobbies (e.g. cooking, reading, travelling) and similar interests. On many occassions we'll be doing something together, just me and her, like cooking a meal or watching dragon's den. Aside from doing things together, we also talk a lot.  I find my mum an insightful person who is always offering new ideas to a discussion, and I am always intrigued by something she has to say. Our 40 minute drives from Burlington to Toronto (for school) are an opportunity for us to spend time with each other, whether it's me wondering about what she thinks of the current elections, or simply us goofing off with our inside jokes. I love spending time with my mum; spending hours reading in Chapter's or going to an art festival in the harbourfront. I think the fact that we simply enjoy each other's company is something that makes our relationship what it is.

Another key aspect in our relationship is communication. If I am unhappy or angered, I will seek her thoughts, even if she is the cause of those feelings. I was raised to believe that communication is the way to solve problems; that when you have a conflict with somebody the best thing is to do is talk about it. I am not scared of confessing something to my mum, and I don't think she is the type to force ultimatums on me. In every past disagreement we've had, we've laid our cards on the table, discussed, and come to a mutual agreement, even if it means we agree to disagree. The result of this is that I can say that things I do, like wearing clothes that aren't revealing, are done because my mum has made me understand  why I should do those things, not just because I am forced to do so. And, honestly speaking, even when I don't agree with her decisions I'll still consider them because I have a lot of respect for her thoughts.

My mum is immensely important in my life; she is a friend, a guide and somebody who is there for me. We're bound to have conflicts, but hopefully, we can plow through them and still maintain the smooth relationship we have right now. All in all, I think we're doing pretty well; we'll always have sushi lunches, I'll always tell her about my day, and I'll always know I'm very lucky to have her in my life.

2) What do you admire the most about your mom?

There are several things I admire about my mum, too many to list in a short answer. Mostly, I admire her skills in a business sense and how independant and creative she is in other dimensions of her life. I remember she was telling me a story about how when she was younger she wrote for a greeting card company, and always had extra pocket money! At such a young age, I think she was 10, she had already come up with a away of harnessing her skills to make money. I see these skills on a bigger scale now-when she's created a thriving, profitable website that is her passion! I see my mum as a person with the perfect life. She is happily married, living in her dream home, running a business that is something she enjoys, and growing and sharing with friends and family all along the journey. I think what I admire most about my mum is her success, and all the hard work, determination, imagination and growth she needed to realize her dreams.

3) Tell me the "coolest" thing about your Mom.

The coolest thing about my mum would probably be that she is the most modern and exciting adult I know. She is on facebook 24/7 (when most parents don't even know how to use it!) and has over 2000 facebook friends. She's got a great sense of style and is often seen sporting a new coach purse (with an ipad, iphone and laptop in it!) in her hands as she drives into work. She actually doesn't mind listening to my rap music, and enjoys the hits on virgin radio. But more than the things she does, it's her attitude and personality that make her "cool". She loves experimenting, learning and socializing. I'm always looking forward to her latest ventures, whether it's a new business, a 40th birthday party, or a new house on the lake. What will she come up with next?

4) Tell me about a special moment that you shared with your Mom. (Optional)

5) Describe your mom in 3 words.

Intelligent, Caring and Creative

I noticed that number four is optional, and since I have a lot of homework I'm going to see if I can get back to you on that in a couple of days.

Thanks!

-Imaan

Of course, I would never hear these things directly from Imaan, not in so many words anyway!  I can tell you I have just received the best Mother's Day present ever!

My relationship with Imaan is always evolving -  from caregiver to confidant - and everything in between. This Mother's Day, I hope that I have been able to be half as good a daughter to my own mother!

To all my friends and readers that are also mothers, I wish you all a very happy and memorable Mother's Day. 

Under your umbrella!!

The thing about adversity is that it forces you to make choices! My last blog post deals with this where I share my personal response to a challenging situation.

Interestingly, what I am learning from adversity is that it also teaches you a thing or two about how those around you respond to your challenges.

I've had friends that find it most comfortable to deal with my situation by ignoring it altogether.  It's never brought up and it's not mentioned in our conversations. 

Then again, there are friends that feel compelled to reach out to know more!! I've had everything from concerned emails, texts, phone calls with either enquiries of "What's going on?" to offers of ""I'm here to listen" followed by an invitation for a convesation, coffee, dinner, chat and so on!

I've shared heartfelt, emotional moments with some friends where I reveal all.  Then again, I've shared awkward (for them) conversations with friends who were perhaps not prepared for the honesty and candour with which I either shared very personal details of my story or refused to share any of the personal details my story.

I've received calls, cards and letters sent to cheer me up and I continue to receive the "positive vibes" that are being channelled my way from friends near and far!

With all these friends and well wishers, I accept their concern for me at face value.  I do not second guess their motives and I trust implicitly that their curiousity and questions come from a place of care and love.  And so, to everyone that is included in the category above, I say thank you for your love, your prayers, your well wishes and your support.  It really does mean so much to me to know that you're there, thinking of me, praying for me and sending me your good energy!

This post, however, is especially dedicated to the handful of friends and family members that truly went beyond the call of duty and offered solutions without even being fully aware of the actual "problems".  They offered me their time, their services and their professional expertise.  They tried to anticipate my needs and opened up their hearts, their homes and, in some cases, their purses to me.

I cannot thank you enough for your generosity. You know who you are and what you have given. 

With some of you, I was the one that reached out to you hoping that I could count on your support and I feel so blessed that you did not let me down! And there are some among you that did not even wait for me to reach out and ask for help.  You somehow heard all that was unsaid and read between the lines and knew just what to do.  For that, I will always remain indebted to you...long after the tangible debts have been repaid!  Because when it's raining more than ever, you've reached out and made room for me and let me stand "under your umbrella" :)

For anyone reading this, my prayer for you is that may you never have to experience trying circumstances in your life but if you do, then I pray that you are fortunate enough to be surrounded by friends that are just like mine!

 

 

 

 

When life hands you lemons...

Life is all about "unforeseen circumstances".  I have had more than my fair share of these in the last few months.  It's taken quite a toll on me emotionally, physically and even financially. 

This blog is not about what these harrowing circumstances are that I find myself in. It's more about what I can do (and am doing) about it.

At some time or another, we all find ourselves in situations that challenge us and force us to make difficult choices.  Maybe you're dealing with the breakdown of marriage, the loss of a loved one, illness or severe injury in the family, financial upheaval, natural disasters, or betrayal by a friend or trusted aide.  Whatever the source of your personal tragedy, your ability to overcome it or minimize the damage to your well-being ultimately depends on how you react to these situations.

Here are some things/strategies that I employ and which help me to maintain my sanity while combating the challenges on hand.

1.  Focus on Solutions:   Instead of complaining about how unfair the situation is, use your energy to envision the solution.  What would be the best possible outcome that you can expect from this situation.

2.  Develop a Plan:  Once you know what solution you are striving for, you need to come up with a plan that gets you there.  This means creating actual "action items" such as arranging finances, making calls, taking on a job, starting a new treatment, etc. (you get the drift).  Once you develop a plan, it will keep you centred on your goal.

3. Implementation and Execution: Once the plan is ready, the idea is to actually follow that plan.  This is often the hardest part.  For example, if you have decided that regular yoga is what you need to deal with your health situation then the plan necessitates that you enrol in a yoga class and actually attend the classes.  If this means, cancelling your regular book club meeting or stepping down from other engagements then your commitment to your plan requires that you make the changes that are ncessary to keep you on your plan.

4. Reach out to Friends and Family: No battle (whether it's emotional, financial or physical) can be won in isolation.  Yes, it's hard to be vulnerable when you've been a pillar of strength to everyone around you but your family and your friends can be some of your strongest allies.  After all, isn't that why they reached out to you in their time of need?

5. Be Optimistic: No matter how bleak things look right now, you have to believe that there is a better future ahead.  Do not get into the "analysis paralysis" syndrome.  Instead, remain positive in your outlook and try and maintain as much normalcy as you can (to the extent that it does not conflict with your plan!)

6.  Show Gratitude:  It seems callous to suggest that the misfortunes of others helps you to put your own situation in perspective but I have found that it really does help.  Ever since my life has been thrown in turmoil, there's a civil war raging in Libya, a horrific natural disaster in Japan, death in so many families. and so many other situations which, in comparision, make my personal challenges seem so petty.  So much so that I am still able to say a silent prayer of gratitude for all that I am still blessed to receive and enjoy: the love of my daughter, the devotion of my husband, the support of my parents and my family, a business that nurtures my passion and a community that rallies to my support.  

That's enough for me to take those proverbial lemons and...make lemonade!! :)

 

Baby Boom!!

I remember the day when I first heard the word "aunty" attached to  my name.  I was in my early teens and  one of my cousins (who is more than a decade older) had just had a baby girl.  I remember carrying my new niece's photo around for days and telling all my friends that I was her aunty! I knew nothing about parenting or about being an aunt!  It just made me feel "grown-up" to think that I was someone's aunt!!

I was married at 22!  Many of my friends were still in university or just embarking on their careers.  A few years later, when I had my daughter, most of my friends were still single.  I remember the joy with which I introduced each one of them as and "aunt" to my little girl.  But, all said and done, I often felt alone and isolated because I could no longer join my girlfriends in things they did.  Simple outings like move nights, drinks after work, dinners, shopping trips and even holidays needed so much planning that I often just didn't go!

Almost two decades later, I am 41 and my daughter Imaan is now a teen in high school weighing her university options!   My friends have young kids, a large number of them are new moms or just about to experience motherhood!   These days, I hear myself being introduced again, at parties and gatherings, as "Aunty" Syerah!I

The feeling is quite different!  I know now what it means to be a mother and a parent! My friends (that are new mommies) no longer feel ostracized!  Indeed, they plan their holidays and celebrations around their kids! It's beautiful! 

An example is our family's recent "ski weekend getaway" to Blue Mountain, Collingwood over the Family Day Long Weekend!  Among others, there were two expectant mothers in the group, a couple (with their six month old daughter), another couple with an energetic five year old! Imaan brought her friend Katy along.

It was probably one of the best weekends that Steve and I have enjoyed as a couple and that we all enjoyed as a big group!  Some went skiing, others went snowboarding, still others relaxed at the spa or just enjoyed the peace and quiet of the village.  No one missed out on what they wanted to do and we did so many fun things as a group - breakfasts, dinners and board games.

Although there were many nuclear families within the group we all came together as one large family! We were all friends and we were all also uncles and aunts!

I am excited about this new chapter in the lives of my friends and am grateful that can still enjoy special milestones together as friends! But, most of all, I think I now truly appreciate the joy of being an "Aunty"!

 

 

Zero to Fifty in 45 minutes!

 

I attended two birthday parties last weekend.  Our friends Tina and James hosted a special evening to celebrate the first birthday of their daughter Myrah.  The title of the invitation said, "We give Thanks" and that's what the evening was all about. It started with a Thanksgiving Prayer (how beautiful is that).  And although there was plenty of food and games and fun things to do, the central theme of the evening was celebrating life and showing gratitude.  The actual guest of honour was content to smile and pose for pictures but everyone in attendance felt so much hope - not just for the young toddler but for this entire generation.  For what they will accomplish and the choices they will make and the life they will create for themselves.

Steve and I could only stay an hour or so at Myrah's party because we had to arrive in time at another party - this time celebrating the 50th birthday of our friend Sabir.  Sabir's wife Mumtaz is one of my dearest friends and I have known her since we were both just 4 or 5 years old.  I was with her when she first met Sabir (over 16 years ago), I was the maid-of-honour at their wedding and our kids are now best friends!  So, in many ways, celebrating her busband's 50th birthday was also a special journey down my own memory lane. These were the thoughts that were in my mind as I was on the express lane of the 401 making my way from Mississauga to North York.

Within 45 minutes, we were at this new party.  Again, although there was no shortage of food, music and games, the central theme here too was gratitude.  The room was filled with family members and friends who all shared some of their own memories of Sabir as a young child, an ambitious adolescent, a loving brother, a caring father, an uncle and, of course, Mumtaz's own love in recognizing a wonderful husband.

It was quite an extraordinary evening.  I have attended many first year birthday parties and many 50 year milestones but attending one of each within the span of 45 minutes truly drives home the message that our life is indeed a blessing. 

Whether you celebrate the hope of years to come or reminisce about the years gone by, life should truly be measured not by moments we breathe but by moments that take our breath away.

May we all have many such memories and moments in our life.

Until debt do us apart?

It's the start of a new year and a time for hope - whether it's for your professional life or your personal life.  According to surveys, the top three resolutions are generally in these areas:

1.  Personal/Relationships: Finding love, get married, get over someone etc.

2. Personal Finances: Pay off debt, plan retirement, save for a house etc.

3. Health & Wellness: Stop Smoking, Start exercising, Eat more healthy foods, Lose weight etc.

Although these may seem like very distinct categories, too often they overlap.  Indeed, everything overlaps with your personal life and relationships at some point.  I know of so many relationships that have ended as a result of financial disagreements or  because one partner ruined the other partner's credit. 

While we look for compatability at so many levels when dating someone, it is just as important to be on the same page in so far as your financial habits go. Often, very smart and intelligent folks can have poor financial planning skills. A lot of "very nice guys" too can rack up debt (through plain ignorance or recklessness) so it's important that your financial due diligence is distinct and separate from your emotional compatability assessments.

Last week, I came across this very interesting article in the Globe and Mail that makes this very point and it raises scenarios ranging from high debts, to not having much of a credit facility, too much of a reliance on flexible friends, to a poor credit history.

I thought I would reproduce it here and open it up for debate:

 When you're thinking of pickup lines, probably none of them include, "Can I see your credit report?"

Talking finance isn't exactly romantic, which is why most of us don't - not even once we decide to move in together or get married. Yet financial disagreement is one of the top reasons couples split - often after one person has ruined the other's credit. So how do you prevent your partner's bad financial habits from ruining your relationship?

Here are five ways your partner can ruin your credit, and ways you can prevent them.

1. High Debt

You were always careful not to take on too high of a debt load - you have seen how it ruined your friends or family members' lives. Maybe your partner wasn't quite so careful, or maybe he or she went through rough times and now has to pay off some debt.

Before combining households, ask about any accounts your partner has - show each other your credit report in the spirit of honesty. High debt-to-income ratios will lower your credit score, so particularly if you're getting married, so make sure you know exactly what each of you is bringing to the table in assets and liabilities. Come up with a realistic plan to pay it down and plan to check on your progress periodically.

Click HERE to read the complete article.

So what do you think?  If you are already married, did you undertake such a thorough financial due-diligence with your partners before you tied the knot?  And, if you're still single, has this article persuaded you to do so?

Let me know your thoughts :)

 

 

Against All Odds!

Steve and I started the new year with a trip to the cinemas.  There were many films to choose from and we opted to see the Fighter and I am so glad.  It's not so much a film about fighting (boxing) as it is about relationships, belief in your self, believing in someone else and the importance of love and forgiveness to nurture and realize the loftiest goals.

So if you're looking for an entertaining film that’s based on a true story and is all about relationships, you will LOVE The Fighter with Mark Wahlberg (“Irish” Mickey Ward), Christian Bale (Dickey Eklund) and Amy Adams (Mickey’s girlfriend Charlene Fleming.).

Christian Bale (Dickey) steals the movie with his absolutely superlative performance as Mickey’s older brother, trainer and crackhead. The film explores relationships between siblings, between parent and child, betwee partners and most importantly, your relationship with your self!

Here are some personal inspirations and lessons that I think couples will take away from the film:

1. If you you have people on your team (friends, relatives, well wishers) who are not real deals, replace them with winners immediately. 

2. If you're lucky, the people who love you will stand by your side and support you even in your darkest hour because they believe in you.

3. Ultimately, you are the architect of your destiny and whether you achieve success, keep the love of your life and turn things around - depends on your complete focus and single-minded belief in your self.

All in all, it's a story about ordinary people but told in an extraordinary way and the "feel-good" feeling stays with you long after the the lights come back on.

Happy New Year to all my readers!  May 2011 bring you even more success, love and understanding in your relationships and in your life :)

Baby, it's cold outside..

Three years ago (wow, I've been blogging for that long?), I wrote this post about things couples can do when the weather outside is frightful!  At that time, I was a single woman and when I published that post a lot of my friends and readers who are married said to me, "syerah, let me know if you actually do these things when you're married".

Fast forward thee years, it's 2010 and I am now married so I thought I would respond to those questions and see if those"fanciful romantic notions" did actually manifest themselves in my reality ;)

Suggestion 1.  Cook a meal together: Pick a recipe (and look no further than Kitchen Confidential for some excellent suggestions) and prepare a meal together. "Together" is the operative word here.  Don't make one person cook the meal while the other watches TV.  Cooking together can be sexy and flirtatious.  Think of all the things you could do with your ingredients (remember the film, Nine and a half weeks? ) all you need is some imagination.  So play some soft music, open a bottle of wine and get your groove on! And when the meal is ready, enjoy it by candlelight! Bon Apetit

 Reality: Steve and I rarely cook a meal together (haha). It's not because he won't offer to help but it's bcause my type-A personality just likes to be in control and so I won't let him do anything because I know his offer to help comes from wanting to help and not from a love of cooking.  My daughter, Imaan, on the other hand loves to experiment with food as much as I do and so she always helps me in the kitchen and I love having her help!  We're passionate about cooking and Steve is content to be our tester.  Except sometimes, like last night, I made mussels with a spicy tomato and white wine sauce.  I thought it was delish but both my testers backed out and ate something else.  Steve said, "If mussels were the only thing left in the world to eat, then he'd give it a shot". Imaan said that they looked really angry!!  So, I ate all my mussels and linguini all by myself :(

Steve does grill a mean steak and sometimes surprises me with dinner and we often share cos, candlelight dinners but the cooking "together" part hasn't quite worked out for us.

Suggestion 2. Bring out the Board Games: If your childhood was anything like mine, you will have mastered several board games (who hasn't enjoyed classics such as Monopoly, Scrabble and Pictionary).  Just because you're older does not mean you can't enjoy these games anymore.  Indeed, there are a host of new games on the market that are specifically aimed for romantic evenings.  The game Twister can get you in interesting positions ;)  Some games are naughty (Strip Chess) some are intimate (Loaded Questions) and others are hilariously thought provoking (Would you rather).  Pick one up and make an evening out of it!

Reality.  We are fortunate to have a pool table in our house so we do spend some time (not nearly enough) shooting pool.  We have a vast collection of board games but the only time Steve and I have played a board game together is a few games of chess or scrabble.  I intend to change this though so a board game night is definitely on the cards over the holidays.

3. Take a trip down memory lane:  Do you still have picture albums from when you were a toddler? Or your high school year book? or a keepsake box with trinkets and treasures from when you were a kid?  Invite your partner to join you on a trip down your memory lane.  Introduce him to your childhood and your years as a young adult through stories and anecdotes based on memories associated with your photos.  It's an amazing experience and you will both feel enriched  and so much closer to each other as you share details about your earliest memories.

Reality.  We completely outdid ourselves here!! Not only did we journey through each other's pasts through photographs, we actually TOOK a trip down memory lane.  Details are in my blog posting from earlier in the year.  I am so glad we did this because it definitely brought us closer.

Suggestion 4. Poetry Reading:  How does one enjoy poetry? Let me count the ways! ;)  Seriously, did you know that the best way to enjoy poetry is to read it out loud?  If you have never tried this before, give it a shot!  It's magical.  And, if done with a partner...it can be such an intimate experience.  If you're not certain about what poems you should read, here is a list of the 100 Best Love Poems ever written.  Pick a theme that resonates most with both of you.

Reality:  hahaha.  What was I thinking?  Steve is so not a "read poetry aloud" kinda guy.  But hey, we exchanged so many audio books and sometimes I do read him large excerpts from books that I am reading (mostly business, non-fiction).  Does that count? ;)

Suggestion 5.  Movie Marathon: We've all done this at some point and when it's cold and wet outside this is the best way to snuggle and stay warm inside.  Pick two (or three) movies and have your personal movie marathon.  Whether it's recent blockbusters or classics, be sure to have the popcorn in the microwave and keep some kleenex handy (just in case!)

Reality: YEAH baby!!  We have over 500 movies in our home theatre collection and a fantastic projector, dark room and screen - so we're hosting movie marathons all the time (in the summer as well).

So, the suggestions are still solid and I'd say it again.  Don't let the cold weather take away the sizzle from your romance.  Get together, do something and let it snow, let it snow, let it snow :) 

 

 

Not tonight honey, I have a headache..

When I first met Steve, much of our "courtship" and "dating" was centred around South Asian events. One reason for this was that much of my "work" requires a fair bit of socializing.  It's true.  Part of my responsibilities as CEO of a media company require me to attend concerts, galas, film screenings, fashion shows, recitals, dance performances, cocktail receptions, dinners and so on. And, most times, I would attend them unescorted and alone or would get a girlfriend to join me.

So, when I was single and had just started dating Steve, the multi-tasker in me thought it was most practical to "get to know" Steve by inviting him to many of these events.  The interesting thing is that he always said yes!

In our first year together, whether it was seeing a performance of the Dhoad Gypsies of Rajasthan or attending the Trillium Hospital Diwali Gala, Steve was always by my side. In that first year, we attended more than a few dozen events together!  It was great because now I always had company and it also allowed us to spend a lot of time together and for Steve to meet my friends and vice versa.

In the last six months, two things have happened:

1.  Steve has re-ignited his love for Karate.   At least three times a week, he is now committed to training and so those evenings are now pretty much "sacred"; and

2. Our relationship has matured and we feel comfortable enough with each other to know that we don't always have to be around each other.

This means I am now often at events with other friends or making my own plans for those evenings of the week when I know he is busy with his dojo/training.  In my view, having fewer opportunities now to socialize together has meant that we are able to plan our "social" time together in a manner that is most meaningful to us and doing something that interests and enriches each of us individually and as a couple! He still attends the odd "work" event with me but it's one that truly interests him as a person and not just because he's required to be my escort. And, I like that.

So, in some respects, although I find myself "unescorted" at a lot of work related social engagements or if I make deliberate plans to socialize with friends and on initiatives that do not include Steve, it's very reassuring for us both that we are very aware and comfortable with the reasons and neither of us has to resort to the cliche...of "having a headache" just to avoid attendance ;)

I married the Biggest Loser!

It was December 1, 2008 when I first met Steve.  Ten weeks later, on February 14, 2009, we were engaged (in romantic New Orleans)!  Six months later, we were married. Ours has been a fairytale romance except that it's not entirely true.  One of the reasons Steve and I met and fell in love and got married within such a short span was because in addition to being hopeless romantics we're both also very practical.

There are so many examples:

Very early, we recognized that it simply did not make sense for us to each carry the expenses (mortgage, bills, cleaning, utitlies etc.) associated with keeping house.  So we decided, soon after we were engaged to move in together.

We also recognized some imbalance if I had to move into his house or he into mine, so we jointly agreed to sell both our respective homes and start a new life together in what would be OUR house.  Within a few days, we had seen a house, made an offer and by June 2009, we had moved in.

We did not want to wait for a wedding and it would be impossible to find a decent venue on such short notice. So we simply got married at home.  It helped that our house is beautiful, sits on a lake, with a lot of room, a gorgeous outdoor deck (where we had the ceremony) and that we had sunshine all weekend!

One of the reasons that we were able to pull all this off is because of Steve's ability to be super decisive (he is the only person I know, other than myself, who can make quick decisions about anything and rarely regret them later) and his unwavering commitment to remain focused on his decision.

When I first met Steve, he was big (I mean really BIG) and I was trying to lose weight myself. Within a few dates, I told him I was really concerned about his weight - from a health perspective as well from a lifestyle persective.  For as long as I can remember, I've been trying to lose weight! I knew that in order to meet my goal, I would have to surround myself with people that made fitness a part of their lifestyle, who would motivate me to do the same and to eat healthy.  How would I ever meet my goal with someone like Steve. 

And, after that day, I saw a different Steve.  Something had been unleashed inside his head.  He started working out, eating sensibly and before I knew it, the pounds were melting off him.

Fast forward to October 2010.  Woefully, I have gained a few pounds since that day in December '08 but Steve is a whopping 70 lbs lighter than his original weight.  He looks and feels great.  He works out almost every day and trains at Karate 3-4 times a week. Unlike me, he did not try for a quick fix or fancy diet.  He did it the right way and, with him, health and fitness are truly a part of his lifestyle. I am so proud of him and, just like I always imagined I would want to be in a marriage, every day I feel inspired to do better myself.

Thank you Steve!