Practical Parenting

Character attributes

Dear families,

Martin Luther King Jr. so eloquently stated that "intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education." While the focus of our education system is to help children develop the critical academic and thinking skills they will need to strive in our increasingly competitive economy, an added goal should also be to help children develop the character attributes they will need to succeed. The Toronto District School Board is now focusing on ensuring that children are taught character attributes as part of their learning programs in schools. These include kindness, cooperation, empathy, perseverance, and fairness, to name a few.

As with all academic skills, teaching children these character attributes needs to be a joint effort between the home and school. As a parent/caregiver, it may be daunting to think of how to instill these attributes in children. Researchers agree that the best way to help children learn these attributes is to model these attributes for them. Talk to them about what it means to have empathy, spend a day at food bank to teach them about kindness, and talk to them about behaviors that display these attributes. Teach by example to show children what these attributes look like in day-to-day life.

Finally, researchers agree that it is important to begin teaching children these character attributes early on in their lives. Unarguably, children need to be empowered with the academic and critical thinking skills in order to succeed. However, they also need to develop the character traits to work with people successfully and to understand how to live a happy, honorable life.

As always, if you have any questions or comments, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Keenjal

Building Reading and Writing Skills

Hello all,

All parents understand the critical need for children to develop reading and writing skills early on in their lives. Perhaps the most important need to learn these skills early is so that children can benefit from instruction at school. Children who struggle with basic reading and writing skills struggle learning in many areas of the curriculum, including mathematics and science.

Fortunately, helping your child learn to read and write doesn’t have to take a lot of extra time or money. Here are some easy ways to build literacy skills, at home or when you are out:

• Place alphabet magnets on your refrigerator. When you are working in the kitchen, ask your child to name the letters he or she plays with and the sounds they make. 

• Buy alphabet soups, cereals, and cookies and practice finding “letters of the day” with your child as you snack. Leave plenty of time--this will not help you rush through lunch!

• Ask your child to tell you a new or interesting word he or she learned. Talk about what the word means and write the word in a writer’s journal or notebook. Have the child draw a picture to go with the word, or use it in a sentence.

• Let your child see you reading and writing as you go through your day. Talk about what you read and write so your child can hear. Say: “I have to use a capital letter at the beginning of this sentence.”“I’m not sure how to spell this word. I’ll say it slowly and listen for the sounds I hear.” “I’m asking Dad a question in this note, so I’d better use a question mark.”

• Play  "sound games”: Listen for the same beginning and ending sounds or words, creating rhymes, or stretching out each word so that your child can hear the sounds in the words.

• Point out printed words in the places you take your child, such as the grocery store. Point out individual letters in signs, billboards, posters, food containers, books and magazines. Talk about what sounds these letters make.

These kinds of activities help the children develop a very important skill known as phonological awareness. Phonological awareness is the understanding that the language we speak and hear is composed of units of sound called phonemes. These sounds may be a single syllable sound as in the word “ball", or they may be a single syllable sound in words with many syllables, like the words /ham/-/mer or /but/-/ter/-/cup. Research has shown that children must develop phonological awareness before they can become independent and effective readers and writers.

Keep working with your children. You are instrumental in your children's learning. Have fun!

It's all about routines

Hello all,

School is in and many parents struggle with helping their children adjust to being back at school. My simple advice is to establish routines and stick to these routines as much as possible. Here are some tips to ease the transition to school:

1. Set a specific time for homework. Give children an opportunity to unwind when they return from school. Once they have settled in, encourage them to complete their work. Once they have completed their work, give them time to play or to engage in any activity that they enjoy. Also, ensure that your children get a good night's rest. A good way to end the day is to read them a story or sing a song together.

2. Talk about school and all that happens at school. Encourage your children to share all that happened during their school day. This will allow them to see the connection between home and school, making the transition to school less stressful.

3. Encourage your children to invite their friends over. They can work together to complete homework tasks or to play or read together. Children enjoy spending time with their friends, and when their "school" friends come over, school doesn't seem so foreign anymore.

4. Communicate regularly with the teacher. Be sure to ask the teacher about how your children are adjusting to school, and if there is anything the teacher is concerned about. Talking to the teacher will give you a good perspective on your children's behavior at school. If there are any issues, you can address them right away.

Finally, if your child is having a particularly difficult time adjusting to school, revaluate routines at home. Most importantly, communicate with your children regularly. Ask them about their day at school and encourage them to talk to you openly.

Back to school

Hello all,

It's hard to believe the summer has gone by and it's almost time for children to go back to school. While children are often anxious and are jittery about going back to school, there is a lot that you can do to ease some of that anxiety. Here are some suggestions:

1.Talk to your children about how they feel about going back to school. Address any concerns or questions that they may have. Remind them of the fact that they will be meeting old friends again and making many new friends. While they may be nervous about getting to know a new teacher, remind them that their former teachers may still be at the school and that they will be able to visit them. If possible, set a time to meet with their new teacher before school begins.

2. Visit the school with your children. This is especially important if your child is just beginning Kindergarten, if you have just moved to the country, or if you are new to the neigborhood. If possible, get in touch with the principal at the school and arrange to go on a tour of the school with your child.

3. Drop your child off to school on the first day. Walk them to the classroom and introduce yourself to the teacher. If your child is particularly nervous and/or anxious, let the teacher know.

4. Enjoy the last week before school begins with your children. Go shopping together for back to school supplies and talk to your children about all the fun things that will happen at school.

5. On the day before school begins, make sure your children get a good night's sleep so they are ready for their big day.

As always, let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Keeping Children Entertained

The summer months are often a good time to catch up with your children and to spend much more time with them. Although there are many things that you can do together, August can seem to drag on and children may begin to get bored. This is especially the case if you are working and children are spending excessive time at daycare or with babysitters. Here are some things you can do on a day-to-day basis during August to keep your sanity and to keep them entertained:

1. Have a movie night. Select a day of the week as your designated "movie night" and make a trip to the local video store to choose a video. Talk about videos that are appropriate and take this opportunity to have a discussion with your children about why some movies may not be appropriate. Parents are quick to reject a movie their children may have chosen without explaining why. Children appreciate being told why their choice was rejected.

2. Play a board game every night. Invest in a number of different board games. Not only will these keep your children entertained, but they are a great way for your children to have fun and learn new skills. Examples of good board games include, for example, Monopoly, Checkers, and Scrabble.

3. Make it a habit to read together. You may read to your child or have your child read to you. After your reading session together, you can encourage your child to choose a book to read/browse independently as you read your book. Not only will this be a great opportunity for you to have some time to read, but it will be a great example for your children.

4. Go to the park. Give your children many opportunities to run around. Physical activity is not only important for their growing bodies, but it will also be a great way for children to have lots of fun.

Have fun!

Nutrition for Children

Parents often engage in an endless battle to help their children eat nutritiously. Many complain that their children just won't eat good foods like fruits and vegetables and that they (parents) have no choice but to give in. I have no doubt in my mind that parents understand the importance of proper nutrition for growing children, but I realize that there are only so many hours in a day and children must be fed. So what to do?

In one of Oprah's recent shows, she interviewed Jerry Seinfeld's wife about a book she wrote called "Deceptively Delicious." In this book, she explains how she uses vegetable purees in everything she makes. For example, she shared that her children love to eat scrambled eggs for breakfast and so she mixes in cauliflower puree with the eggs and her children have no idea. There are many other neat ideas in her book and you may consider getting it if you face the food battle in your home.

From what I have discovered, the bottom line with children is to really get creative with the foods you serve. Try to "hide" a lot of the good foods in what you serve. It also helps to reward children for good eating by giving them dessert after, for example, they've eaten all their veges. It's no surprise that there are countless adults who don't eat their fruits and veges so you can't really blame the children. Therefore, it also becomes important to be good role models for them. Eat your fruits and veges in front of them and talk to them about why it's so important to eat healthy foods. I have realized that children appreciate being told why they need to do something rather than being told just to do it.

Have fun and eat well! If you need a little help, pick up the "Deceptively Delicious" book by Jessica Seinfeld. It's available at Chapters for about $20.

Keenjal

Children also need to exercise!

There is no shortage of information on the need for adults to maintain a healthy diet and to exercise regularly. Every news article I've ever read on maintaining good health has some reference to exercising in it. However, I have come to realize that many parents are often unaware of the critical need for them to give their children opportunities to exercise and to get their heart rates up. As a result, there are far more children who are overweight today and, in the United States for example, the obesity rate among children has quadrupled in the last few decades. 

It is important to understand that there are many benefits for children when exercise is a part of their daily routine. Some of these benefits include:

1. Exercise increases children's energy levels.

2. Exercise prevents children from becoming overweight.

3. Exercise helps children build strong bones, muscles, and joints.

4. Exercise helps children feel less stressed and it helps them sleep better at night.

Fortunately, getting children to exercise is not as difficult a process as getting adults to exercise. Children enjoy running around, jumping, climbing equipment, and just moving. Therefore, incorporating exercise into your child's day can be quite easy and fun. A simple trip to the park can do it. The following are some ways you can increase physical activity in your children's lives: 

1. Set an example. When children see you exercising, they will be more likely to want to exercise themselves.

2. Limit the amount of time they spend watching television or on the computer. Encourage them to meet with their friends and play in the backyard instead. If it cold outside, just bundle them up nicely.

3. Establish a routine so that exercise is a part of their day everyday.

4. Enroll your children in organized sports activities. Your local community center is a great place to enroll your children in soccer, swimming, and other activities.

5. Mix it up and have fun!

School is out!

It's that time of the year again! School is almost over and children will be off for over two months. At this time of the year, parents are often anxious and wonder about the kinds of things they can do with their children to engage them for such a long period of time. This is especially the case when parents work more than one job or if they are doing shift work. My best advice to all parents is to try to spend as much time with children as possible, and this can be done as you engage in your day-to-day routine work. For example, when you go shopping, take your children with you to the mall and the grocery store. Point out "nutritious foods" and ask them to find the letter "s" in the names of the stores they see at the mall. Take them to your place of worship and spend time talking about things that are important in your culture. Talk to them in your home language and realize that fluency in the first language greatly enhances children's ability to learn language skills in English.

Young children are extremely inquisitive about their world and love to ask questions. Take the time to answer their questions and model the joy of discovery for them. When you come home from work or after you pick them up from the daycare, encourage them to talk about their day and tell them about yours. To develop their sense of confidence, children need to feel valued and when you spend time talking to them, they realize how important they are.

Most of all, have fun! Children grow up very fast and these formative years are when they learn so very much about themselves, their culture, and the world around them.

And of course, read, read, read, read, read, and read! Sing songs, play silly word games, tell jokes, and read the paper together. Expose children to as much language and as much vocabulary as possible.

As always, if you have any questions or comments, please don't hesitate to share them with me.

Get Involved!

As a Kindergarten teacher, I have spoken to so many parents about the need for them to become involved in their children's learning. For many immigrant parents, "getting involved" means that they need to spend time working with their children at home. While the work they do at home is instrumental in helping children consolidate and internalize the skills they are learning at school, there are several other ways that I encourage parents to get involved. The following are some tips:

1. Ask the school principal if you can volunteer in your child's classroom. Not only will you be able to assist the teacher, but you will also have the opportunity to observe the skills your children are learning and the strategies the teacher uses to teach these skills.

2. Become a member of the school council. Before principals can made decisions that affect all students at the school (e.g., whether to have uniforms or not), the principals must consult members of the school council. By becoming involved, you can do a lot to influence the way your child's school is run.

3. Accompany your children on field trips. Teachers often ask for parent volunteers for school trips. Become involved in this way will show your children that you truly care about their education and it will help them see the continuity between the home and school.

By no means is this an exhaustive list. There are so many things you can do to become and remain involved in your children's learning. The most important thing to remember is that you can do so much to help your child have positive learning experiences at school. So get involved!

As always, if you have any questions or comments, please do not hesitate to ask.

Constipation among Children

Constipation is very common in children of all ages. Of all visits to the pediatrician, 3% are in some way  related to this complaint .25 percent of visits to a pediatric gastroenterologist are due to constipation.

Millions of prescriptions are written every year for laxatives and stool softeners.

What Causes Constipation?

Constipation is mostly functional. This means it is not due to any medication or anatomic abnormalities .Ninety percent of the causes of constipation come under this category

.

· Immature system: In some infants, constipation can be due to an immature system,improper relaxation of the rectal muscles.

· Some breast fed infants can go without a bowel movement for several days. However it is important to look for signs such as

 Distension of the tummy

  Persistent vomiting especially

 Inconsolable crying

If any of these are seen then it is important to contact your primary care provider or visit the emergency room. It is important to rule out obstruction of the intestines, ileus, Mal-rotation, Volvulus.

 

 Fiber: Lack of fiber can also cause constipation later on in life. Once the child has been constipated for more than a few days, the retained stool can fill up the Large intestine (the colon) and cause it to stretch. This overstretched intestine then does not work efficiently to expel stool.

 
Then constipation becomes a behavioral issue. The bowel movements are hard and painful .Most of the times children withhold their stools due to fear of pain. (Withholding Behavior)

In some children, constipation can begin when

· there are changes in the diet

· the time of toilet training

 Following travel, or after a viral illness.

· Older children can begin withholding the stool .Even if they have an urge to use the bathroom. They may be afraid to use public toilets. School or summer camps, with facilities that are not so clean, are common causes of stool withholding in this age group.

There are some causes that may be due to a problem with the muscles of the stomach, anatomic abnormalities, endocrine problems, drugs. These causes are not so common.

Hence it become extremely important to talk to you primary care provider with regard to the consistency of the stools, when and at what age did your child start having hard stools. It is also important to know if your child had difficulty passing the first stool. This may not be functional and may need to be further looked into.

When does constipation become a problem?

 

· If your child has Hard painful stools that are difficult to pass

· If your child consistently skips days without having normal

  Bowel movements

· If your child has symptoms such as constipation stomach pain, poor appetite, and  crankiness

· If you see bright blood in the stool or on the toilet paper after wiping. This hard stool can tear the lining of the anus which is also called a fissure. These fissures are very painful and bleed.

· If your child has Problems with passing the stool in the underclothes. Most of the times  the child is not aware of this soiling. The child does not feel the urge to have a bowel movement and has an accident. These stool accidents are often mistaken as diarrhea.

· Pain-abdominal or rectal

· Daytime or night time urinary incontinence and recurrent attacks of a urinary tract infection

In most cases there is no need for testing prior to treatment for constipation. However sometimes the doctor may need to do an X-ray of the tummy or perform other tests to asses the degree of stool or rule out other causes of constipation.

How do you treat constipation?

The goal of treatment is soft, regular stools. Positive results requires time and patience

Diet rich in fiber and fluids are important in the treatment of constipation. Fiber such as fruits, vegetables, whole grain breads, cereals.

Many a time’s behavior modification becomes extremely important. It is often helpful to start a bowel training routine where the child sits on the toilet for 5 – 10 minutes after every meal or before the evening bath. It is important to do this consistently in order to encourage good behavior habits. After every successful bowel movement a reward such as a sticker may be given that reinforced this positive behavior.

A few children may require an initial “clean-out” to help empty the colon of the large amount of stool. This typically entails the use of laxatives by mouth or even suppositories or enemas for a short period of time.

Please feel free to post any comments or questions