Over Chai

Growing Up Bollywood

One sunny afternoon a couple of summers ago, my husband and I were strolling along the boardwalk at the Beaches, and paused at a bench to soak in the sights and sounds of summer.  A young woman, the mother of three energetic little kids, paused to catch her breath at the same bench, and it was not long before we struck up a lively conversation.  She was of Greek heritage, we told her we were of Indian heritage.

“Oh,” she exclaimed and began singing, “Aap Jaisa Koi Meri Zindagi Mai Aye….”

The 1980 hit movie Qurbani. 

Nostalgia.  A flood of memories.

As a child growing up in an Indian household, Bollywood films (though we never referred to them as such back then, they were simply ‘Hindi movies’) were a staple source of family entertainment.  We would gather together on weekends when we could spare the three-and-a-half hours, my mom would make hot fried pakoras and chai for our intermission snack and we would watch predictable though delightfully entertaining plots unfold.  We enjoyed those cozy family times filled with the simple joy of togetherness, while invisible threads drew us closer to a culture that we had mostly only known remotely.

Sometimes we would gather at friends’ homes and enjoy the hullaballoo of a Hindi movie playing amidst the laughter and chitter-chatter of all our Aunties (the Uncles were usually absorbed in a serious card game).

And on the rare occasion, when we visited India, we would go to a cinema with relatives and enjoy the authentic experience, complete with an intermission in the middle of the movie when everyone would get freshly fried hot samosas and mingle with friends.

Wonderful meaningful memories, to be sure, but in the end was it all just empty, mindless entertainment?  Sitting on that park bench and hearing about the Saturday night tradition that this Greek family had created for itself during which they would watch Hindi films and eat Indian food caused me a moment’s pause to reflect on the impact that Hindi films had had on my life.

They have given me some of my favourite songs of all time, the kind that speak to the soul from movies like Kabhi Kabhi and Umrao Jaan, the kind that compel me to dance with abandon like Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe, and the kind that make me want to sing at the top of my lungs like Kajrare.

They have dazzled me with the breathtaking array of exquisitely designed outfits and jewels that continue to inspire fashion trends in the global diaspora communities.

They have given me an understanding of the Indian culture, celebrations, rituals, values and traditions that define who we are as a people.

They taught me Hindi in the best classroom of all, the family room of my childhood home.

They inspired the Classical Indian dancer in me.

But it goes even deeper than all that.

They reinforced a profound sense of pride in calling myself an Indian, and emotionally bonded me to India forever.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to fry some pakoras for my kids before intermission is over.

___________

* Originally published on The Agenda with Steve Paikin website: 

 http://www.tvo.org/cfmx/tvoorg/theagenda/index.cfm?page_id=3&action=blog&subaction=viewpost&post_id=16869&blog_id=323

Related videos on The Agenda with Steve Paikin:

1. On being a Canadian-born Indian:  http://bit.ly/kX2vjl

2. Hooray for Bollywood:  http://bit.ly/kg1ign

The Un-Common Commonwealth Games

No doubt about it.  There was nothing common at all about the much-anticipated Commonwealth Games, or its media coverage, hosted by India over the past couple of weeks.

Images and stories wired around the globe by every possible news source prior to the opening ceremonies: a collapsed footbridge causing serious injury to dozens, poor sanitation standards in some quarters of the athletes’ village, a handful of athletes withdrawing from competition.

The global gasp was almost audible.

The world held its collective breath to see how India’s showpiece to the world would fare amidst allegations of corruption, ballooning costs, mismanagement, maltreatment of the poor, potential large and small scale security threats and shoddy workmanship. The media held everything under a microscope for international judgment and condemnation.  And rightly so.  And it was not just India’s bourgeoning reputation as a global player that was on the line.  People of Indian extraction everywhere suffered a tarnishing of national pride, an embarrassment that the Indian government and Delhi Organizing Committee exposed India’s shortcomings in such a grand and public manner.

It seemed that nothing short of a miracle would be needed for India to pull this off successfully.  By all accounts, this was India’s own Mt. Everest to climb.

And then the nearly unthinkable happened … nothing.  Nothing out of the ordinary, that is.

Oh sure, there were reports of Delhi-belly causing some athletes to suffer, problems with some weighing scales and initial poor attendance at some venues.  But what games haven’t suffered some - what I would call - minor issues to cope with?  Or for that matter, even major ones?  The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics, for one, suffered a terrific blow at the outset of the Games with the tragic death of an athlete during a practice run on the luge track.  Not from lack of planning, admittedly, but bad things can - and do - happen.  

In India’s case, not only were there systemic challenges such as widespread corruption (hey, take India as you find it; this is a well-documented fact commonly known from well before the Games were awarded to Delhi), but it also faced real plausible security threats from both within and outside its borders from multiple and unrelated violent-leaning factions.  Think Toronto’s G20 security concerns and then multiply them … many times over.  And this was just one of the many challenges of hosting the Games in India.

So when you consider the record-breaking number of athletes in attendance, the spectacular showmanship of the opening and closing ceremonies, the lauded venues hosting the competitions and the tight security that safeguarded India’s guests from around the world, one could – and should - rightly sum up the Delhi Games as a sound success. 

On the eve of Closing Ceremonies of the Games, I settled in to watch my favourite news program, The National on CBC, looking forward to hearing a positive wrap-up of the Games, after all the initial (deserved) negative coverage.  Would you believe … there was absolutely no report on the end of the Games!?!  Nothing.  Unless you count a passing comment made by Peter Mansbridge to Canada’s Most Watched Political Panel.  This despite the fact that the CBC was the official broadcaster of the Games in Canada.

Was the success of the Games not newsworthy?  Is it not the responsibility of the media to ensure that a fair and balanced representation of facts is presented to the viewing public?  This is not to say that in basking in the glory of success, India should not learn some valuable and indeed crucial lessons.  One would hope that the glare of the international spotlight would encourage India to focus on some of the deficiencies that nearly decimated the very gains it hoped to achieve by hosting the Games.  But it does sometimes seem that the story becomes what the media decides it is, and objective reporting is lost.  From the outset, India’s failures were the subject of a feeding frenzy … the prospect of spectacular failure is sexy news after all.  The National dispatched international correspondent Adrienne Arsenault to Delhi to provide detailed coverage, and her reports never quite lost their tone of criticism or censure.  Much how the media coverage ensured that what is predominantly remembered about the Athens and Montreal Olympics are the problematic facilities and cost overruns, instead of the inspiring success of the respective Games or the first perfect 10 scored by Nadia Comaneci.

In the end and despite all dire predictions, Delhi delivered the Games to the world.  

And to me, that is (equally deserved) good news indeed.

Then and Now (Part 2)

As my faithful readers know, this blog began as a chronicle of my ongoing journey as I work to turn my dream of producing a lifestyle show on all things South Asian into a reality.  For the last many blogs, however, I digressed from the originally conceived format and instead delved into more substantive, issue-oriented topics.  The more I wrote, the more I found to write about.  It turns out there is no shortage of interesting, engaging and compelling issues for us to talk about … and that is great news for the talk show!  So, this blog will continue to serve as a witness to both the challenges and rewards of producing such a show as well as the issues of the day that grab our attention and imagination.

That having been said, today I am picking up the threads from one of my earlier ‘journey’ blogs.  Have you ever had a dream but didn’t quite know how to achieve it?  That was me one year ago and, who are we kidding, even today.  It is like I am on this never-ending learning curve that is so steep, there is no summit in sight.  But I know it is there!  Here, then, is a continuation of my journey.

One year ago:

I was a stay-at-home mom with a BIG dream and absolutely no idea how to get there.  I had no relevant connections, no investment capital, no experience in this field and virtually no spare time.  I had the primary responsibility of raising my children well (something I consider I will always have irrespective of any delegation), of ensuring a smoothly functioning household (debatable at the best of times!), and of fulfilling my responsibilities to the not-for-profit Boards on which I serve.  It was truly daunting to add another ball to all the ones I was already juggling, and that too, one which was just one big, fat question mark.

Today:

My dream is now a well-defined vision, I have a fantastic business partner who shares my drive and passion, an experienced and committed director and production team, a shooting location, market survey results indicating an keen interest in this show, an Investor Package in its final stages of preparation, a website in development, the active help of new and inspiring friends, and the good wishes and support of so many people I have encountered along the way.

So, how did I get from there to here?

Step 1: Serious self-reflection and contemplation

I had to face facts. I was avoiding returning to the legal profession as a government lawyer. Something about drafting legislation and regulations for the rest of my life did not appeal to me. Go figure. So, then, what did appeal to me? What did I enjoy? While changing diapers and singing lots of kiddie songs, staying up nights and preparing nutritious yet fun meals (tall order!), I stole moments here and there to think...to reflect...to feel. And about a year ago, I was finally able to recognize the things that matter most to me, to identify what most inspires and drives me and to acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses. Based on all this, I began to formulate this fantastical idea of celebrating my South Asian pride by producing and hosting a talk show relevant to my generation of South Asians.

Step 2: Sharing the idea

Tentatively at first, and gradually with increasing passion and excitement, I began to share my idea with a select group of people...my family and close friends. I wanted genuine support but also wanted genuine feedback, so I approached those who would have my best interests at heart, and who would be honest with me. After all, if I had to be saved from myself, the earlier the better.

Luckily for me, the idea struck a definite chord, and this did wonders for me. You see, the first person I had to sell the concept to was myself, and I was sold. But would others see it, believe in it? Once I could see that the idea had value in other's eyes, I began to believe. This was a huge confidence boost, and it solidified my determination to give this my all. After all, what did I have to lose?!

Great, okay, so decision made to go for it. But how?? I had no idea how to approach this, what to do or where to go from there.

Step 3: Faith and a Conversation with the Universe

First things first, I had a talk with myself.  That this was going to be a difficult path with hardships and adversity was certain.  What I needed was firm resolve to meet those challenges head on, the strength to persevere in spite of the odds.  In other words, I needed faith.  I believe in myself and I believe in this concept.  This will happen.  The only question is when.

And then I had a talk with the universe.  This sounds a little hokey, I know, but I have to tell you, it worked (so far anyway).  Simply put, I came to peace with my decision and asked the universe for help.  If you believe in fate, destiny, karma or any of those great spiritual notions, this is hardly a stretch.  Of course, this didn’t mean that I put it out there and then sat on my laurels waiting for great things to happen.  Rather, it meant that while I undertook active steps in pursuit of my goal, I remained vigilant and open to possibilities, knowledge and opportunities.

Step 4:  Networking, Networking, Networking

Once I had made the decision, or rather the commitment, to do everything I could to turn this concept into a reality, I made a fundamental realization…I could not do this alone. The task was too big, the unknown variables too daunting.  I needed help to get there.  I needed to find people who were doing or who had done what I was attempting to do.  This meant reaching out to friends, and friends of friends.  This meant attending events that would bring me in close proximity with such people.  This even meant reaching out to people with whom I had no connection at all.

In short, networking, networking, networking!

I cannot overstate how important this has been to my progress, and I would argue, to the success of so many accomplished individuals.  We are humans, and humans are all about connectivity.  It is why we live in clans and feel the need for belongingness.  Why not turn this need into an asset and make it work for you? 

I was already applying the principles of marketing without even realizing it, when I stumbled across a great book, Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.  Its intuitive wisdom appealed to me and what’s more, it gave me networking strategies that were effective and do-able.  The thing that struck me the most was one of the cornerstone principles of networking: generosity.  The most effectively networking is the kind that is not motivated solely by personal interest or gain, but one that is done with a spirit of generosity and willingness to help others.  Helping others without an expectation in return is, in many cases, reward enough.  But interestingly, you will find that the more you practice this kind of networking, the more liberally people offer to help you in unexpected and generous ways.  It as the old adage goes…what goes around really does come around!

That’s all for now, stay tuned for more in my upcoming blogs!

"Me" in Media: Little Scope Beyond Little Mosque

Once, a very long time ago, I had a dream.  I was going to be an actor. 

And not just an actor in school plays, even though my breakout lead role was in Grade 6 as the Velveteen Rabbit in my elementary school annual play.  No, I had bigger plans.  I was going to get a role on my favourite childhood program of all time, The Facts of Life.  (Hey, don’t knock it, George Clooney got his big break there!)

Well, the unfortunate reality of most great aspirations is that they fade over time, strangled by the crushing weight of pragmatism.  So I did what all good kids do, I listened to my parents and became a professional - a lawyer - while only occasionally flirting with my first true love.

Today, through the lens of grownup, I look back wistfully and sometimes find myself playing a retrospective game of “what if” and I wonder about my chances of success if I had pursued my dream, talent notwithstanding.

I realize this is a bit of an odd statement, so let me explain the game.  Forget talent as a factor in success for just a moment.  In other words, let’s presume for a moment that I simply oozed talent.  Yes, I like that.  Then the real question becomes:  Would I, as a South Asian woman, have had an opportunity to succeed as an actor?  Does the media embrace people like me?

Fortunately for me, I live in the city of Toronto, arguably the most multicultural city in the world and with one of the largest South Asian diasporas in the world, in the country of Canada, a progressive and egalitarian-minded nation which long ago forged a path by embracing an official policy of multiculturalism … so many of the necessary ingredients for a land of equal opportunity.  You would think that there would be a plethora of acting roles available to someone like me.

And you would be wrong.

Let’s for a moment examine some Canadian productions (this is not exhaustive, just to illustrate the point).  There’s Corner Gas which ran for six successful seasons on CTV.  Ok, this is set and filmed in a tiny fictional town in the wheat fields of Saskatchewan, so perhaps it is not where one would expect to find a great deal of diversity.  What, then, is CTV’s excuse for casting not one single visible minority in a leading role in its original cast on its new run-away hit, Flashpoint?  Though never overtly stated, Toronto is undeniably the backdrop for the tactical squad team’s weekly dramas. 

I fear that my chances would have fared no better on Canada’s public broadcaster, the CBC.  Recent family entertainment programmes such as Sophie and 18 to Life, both filmed in Montreal, pay token homage to visible minorities at best. And as much as I love the hit show Being Erica, which is not only filmed in Toronto but which virtually celebrates that fact, there are only two Black actors cast in occasional supporting roles.  To give you some perspective, in Toronto, there are currently 720,000 South Asians compared to 370,000 Black people.  That’s an almost 2 to 1 ratio, yet Black actors somehow do not seem as obscure on the acting scene as South Asians.  Granted that Shaun Majumder has a key role on This Hour has 22 Minutes, but that really seems to be the exception rather than the rule.  

Conclusion?  While there are virtually no major roles for visible minorities generally, there are fewer still for aspiring South Asian actors.

And then there is Little Mosque on the Prairie, CBC’s internationally-acclaimed hit sitcom about Muslims and Christians attempting to live in harmony with each other in the small town of Mercy.  Zarqa Nawaz, the visionary creator behind the show, cut through all the racial fear-mongering at a time when perceptions of Muslims and the Islamic faith were highly suspect by many, and attempted to build bridges of understanding through humour and wit.  In doing so, she also generated more leading roles for visible minorities of all stripes than ever before seen on Canadian television.  Bravo!  I, without reservation, applaud the remarkable success of the program. 

But there is one thing that troubles me.  (Quelle surprise!)

Why, for the most part, are the only roles in which South Asians are cast those in which South Asians play South Asians?  By its very nature, acting presumes that real people assume personas other than their own.  Yet, it seems to me that South Asian actors will get a role when casting directors are specifically looking for a South Asian to fill the role, but not if the casting description is more general, such as “female character, early thirties, to play the role of Erika Strange’s best friend.”  I find it difficult to believe that in a diaspora of this size, the pool of South Asian actors is too small from which to draw talent for just about any acting role.  We are typecast in certain roles and under-represented in others, and where we do occasionally appear in peripheral roles, it sometimes smacks of tokenism.

One day, when I wistfully look back, I would like to believe in “what could have been.”  But for that to happen, we need a post-racial society where, in the acting world, roles aren’t written for “types” but rather awarded by merit.

I’m game for that, are you?

 

Then and Now

If you have been following my blog, you will remember from my 1^st blog, Julie & Julia...and Niru:

The Dream:  

Produce and Host a Talk Show

The Challenge:  

Everything. And every step. This is my Mt. Everest.

Realization:  

Sometime during the course of my lifetime, but preferably in 2010!

 

Let me paint a "Then and Now" picture for you. 

 

One year ago:

I was a stay-at-home mom with a BIG dream and absolutely no idea how to get there.  I had no relevant connections, no investment capital, no experience in this field and virtually no spare time.  I had the primary responsibility of raising my children well (something I consider I will always have irrespective of any delegation), of ensuring a smoothly functioning household (debatable at the best of times!), and of fulfilling my responsibilities to the not-for-profit Boards on which I serve.  It was truly daunting to add another ball to all the ones I was already juggling, and that too, one which was just one big, fat question mark.

Today:

My dream is now a well-defined vision, I have a fantastic business partner who shares my drive and passion, an experienced and committed director and production team, a shooting location, market survey results indicating an keen interest in this show, an Investor Package in its final stages of preparation, the active help of new and inspiring friends, and the good wishes and support of so many people I have encountered along the way.

Not bad, eh? Suddenly, the improbable and unlikely is starting to look like it might actually happen! 

Put like this, it sometimes even surprises me that I've made it this far.  And in moments when I experience doubt or anxiety, and there are plenty of those, believe me, I run through this list to boost my confidence.  To be sure, there is still a loooooooong way to go and it is still a steep uphill climb, but I have come a long way and that's saying something.

This blog is the chronicle of my ongoing journey.

So, how did I get from then to now?

Step 1: Serious self-reflection and contemplation

I had to face facts. I was avoiding returning to the legal profession as a government lawyer. Something about drafting legislation and regulations for the rest of my life did not appeal to me. Go figure. So, then, what did appeal to me? What did I enjoy? While changing diapers and singing lots of kiddie songs, staying up nights and preparing nutritious yet fun meals (tall order!), I stole moments here and there to think...to go inwards...to feel. And about a year ago, I was finally able to recognize the things that matter most to me, to identify what most inspires and drives me and to acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses. Based on all this, I began to formulate this fantastical idea of celebrating my South Asian pride by producing and hosting a talk show relevant to my generation of South Asians.

Step 2: Sharing the idea

Tentatively at first, and gradually with increasing passion and excitement, I began to share my idea with a select group of people...my family and close friends. I wanted genuine support but also wanted genuine feedback, so I approached those who would have my best interests at heart, and who would be honest with me. After all, if I had to be saved from myself, the earlier the better.

Luckily for me, the idea struck a definite chord, and this did wonders for me. You see, the first person I had to sell the concept to was myself, and I was sold. But would others see it, believe in it? Once I could see that the idea had value in other's eyes, I began to believe. This was a huge confidence boost, and it solidified my determination to give this my all. After all, what did I have to lose?!

Great, okay, so decision made to go for it. But how?? I had no idea how to approach this, what to do or where to go from there. Which leads me nicely to my next step.

Step 3: Faith and a Conversation with the Universe

[Yikes, its 12:45am and I have to be up at 5:30am to catch a flight! This was the only time I got to work on this blog between caring for 2 sick kids, packing and dealing with a caregiver crisis. So I will stop here for now, but you will find my next blog in the first week of March.]

Till then, happy blogging!

 

Altering Destiny - One Baby Step at a Time

I'm changing my destiny, what about you?

For those of you who read my maiden blog last week– Julie & Julia…and Niru – and especially for those of you who know me well, your reaction to my public declaration was likely this…

… Produce and host a talk show? … WHAT??

Why would an ambitious lawyer and mother of two jump off an established career track, forsake the sweet security of a professional life and a good income, and all to chase an improbable, unlikely, pie-in-the-sky idea?? And you would be right to ask that. Indeed, I ask myself that question regularly, especially at 5am when anxiety has a rather all-consuming and magnified effect.

So let me back up a bit and explain.

For the past four years, I have taken a pause in my professional life to delight in being a part of my children's young lives, and delight I have. Notwithstanding the constant fatigue and the never-ending challenges(!), children are an endless source of amusement, inspiration and pleasure. Their innocence and love can just take your breath away. I have experienced more moments of pure joy – almost spiritual – than at any other time in my life. As a woman, I have never been more fulfilled.

But as much as I adore my children, I am more than just a mother. All this fulfillment in my personal life raised a further question: Am I fulfilled in my professional life?

I once heard someone say that if you look back at the past 5 or 10 years on your life and you are not happy with what you see - be it with your job, your home, your hobbies, or your whole life - if you do nothing about it, the next 5 or 10 years will look exactly the same.

My turn to say: WHAT??

Isn’t this just the biggest eye-opener? One day quietly trickles into the next, one month seamlessly slips into another, and before you know it, years have whizzed by and yet you are still in exactly the same place as you were before. In other words, if you carry on as usual and make no variations in your habits, patterns or activities, how can you expect anything to change? There is no way to argue with this simple logic, and yet we somehow hope against hope that transformative change will magically come to us. We just wait for something to happen. So, most of us just trudge along in life and realize too late that the rut we are in is one of our own making.

And why? Because change is hard! It feels like it would take Herculean effort to do anything other than just get through the hustle and bustle of each day. Small changes seem daunting, big ones seem as insurmountable as climbing Mt. Everest! No matter the destination, the first step is always the hardest, probably because of the weight of the desired end result. But it is not impossible. Remember, even the journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step. And that step does not have to be dramatic or big, even if the ultimate goal is. You could start with something as simple as signing up for a hobby, enrolling in a class, reading a book or reaching out to someone who can help. No doubt, making real change is a difficult road, paved with self-doubt, but when was something worth having ever easy?

As for me, I had long been feeling that I was not achieving my full professional potential. I was not tapping into my essential talents and innate skills, and I certainly was not following the powerful draw of my dreams and desires. So, I decided to do something about it. Oddly enough, I found my courage and inspiration from the unlikeliest of people. My children.

As I watched my children's eyes open with wonder at what the world had to offer when they tasted their first morsels of food, I thought about what the world could offer me and what I had to offer the world. As I recognized their determination to get a hold of something just out of reach, I recognized my own determination to shape my destiny according to what matters to me and not blindly follow the beaten path. And as I witnessed them take their first tentative steps, knowing that they would stumble but get up again, I realized what they had been teaching me all the while I thought I was teaching them ...

... I got up, and tentatively took my first baby step towards my new destiny.

Stay tuned to my weekly blog, where I will continue to share my journey with you.

 

Julie & Julia…and Niru

Last weekend, my husband, my sister and I befittingly tucked into our sumptuous meal as we watched the elaborate culinary delights being prepared in Julie and Julia.

The movie was exactly what I needed - light, entertaining and inspirational. 

But much to my surprise, it had another rather unexpected impact on me.  It was my Eureka! moment on – of all things - blogging and social networking. 

I’ll be honest.  My husband and I resist change, especially technological ones.  Many of my friends are guffawing now, since they have lived through it with us.  “How do you live without caller ID??”  “When are you going to get a cell phone??”  On principle, my husband and I had resisted the temptation to buy a cell phone, that is, until public pay phones started to disappear from street corners!  Let’s not even talk about Blackberries or iPhones, home theatre systems and the like.

We are not complete dinosaurs, though.  We are the proud owners of a MAC and I did join facebook for the sheer pleasure of adding friends…those who found me, that is.  But that’s the extent of it.  And as for blogging, I barely understood this new word in the English lexicon, let alone who did it and where.  While it seems the whole world was saying blog blog blog, all I heard was blah blah blah.  I was clueless.

And then I bore witness to the power of the cyber-word.  A woman, struggling to make her life meaningful, transformed her passion into a personal challenge and shared that challenge with, well…no one at first, and then the world!  She blogged and gradually, more and more people read.  So popular became her blog that Julie Powell now has two published books to her name and a movie in which her inspired project was brought to life by Hollywood greats.  All due to the transformative power of the blogged word.  Truly amazing.

So, in keeping with the new year, a fresh beginning and firsts, here I am with my maiden blog, and with a public declaration of the passion that I intend to transform into a reality. 

The Dream:            Produce and Host a Talk Show

The Challenge:       Everything.  And every step.  This is my Mt. Everest.

Realization:            Sometime during the course of my lifetime, but preferably in 2010.

Follow my journey on my weekly blog as I try to make this happen.  And wish me luck or write me a cheque (for the show)!

Would you believe that before I blogged, I tweeted.  We’re off to a good start…