When you don't feel like feeling...

I listen to music when I'm happy. It allows me to enjoy the simple things in life and makes my head bop to happy tunes. There's nothing like listening to a great song when you're happy.

But I also find refuge in music when I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. Music also usually helps to work my way through profound loss. But this time has been different. I lost someone very dear to me in late February. And somehow the music stopped.

We grew up together as childhood friends and saw each other through pigtails to the worst disastrous perm! Supporting each other throughout the years. And our friendship was fuelled by our love for music. I remember how she gravitated towards punk-rock while I preferred the mellower-vintage kinds. She loved the drums and a thumping bass line while my heart always prefers a soulful guitar anyday. Such different tastes and we'd spend hours debating the latest songs or music to hit the scene.

Music has an amazing way to create fond memories. Her first heartbreak and hating "Power of love" thereafter. Or the times she drove around playing "Encore" from Linkin Park" determined to prove that girls can drive fast too! Such bittersweet memories that leave so much unsaid.

The last couple of weeks have been tough. Toughest actually. And I don't quite know how to make things better. But I remember her pointing out that no matter who dies, the music never stops. She's right, I know that. Music is eternal and plays on much after we're gone. There's a great track from REM (listen below "Everybody hurts") that she and I both loved, reserved for days that didn't quite work out the way we wanted them to.

While music won't point me towards any kind of solution, I know somewhere she's listening to something and bopping her head in unison :)

Comments

[amreen]

sorry for your loss, savia. music has such a powerful way of evoking memories and emotion. thanks for sharing your feelings in such a moving post.

[Syerah]

Many years ago, I heard the song "Cherish" by Kool and the Gang and it helped me a lot to grieve the loss of a dear one and to also cherish all the memories we had created together. stay strong and keep listening to tunes that touch your soul. This too shall pass.

Regards,

Syerah

[dr.shamira]

So sorry for your loss - its so true, music can get us through the tough times and, at the same time, help us remember all the good ones. Cherish those songs that remind you of your friend - it will bring you closer to her so that her presence is felt, even when she is no longer there.