Today, I spoke to a woman who said that she doesn’t want to reach out for help because if her husband found out that she contacted Social Services, it may jeopardize their chances of working out their rocky marriage. In a country abound with laws and services to support women in difficult situations; I am always disappointed but, not surprised when I hear such comments.
Women in our culture are raised with the idea that when you get married, you have to make it work - good or bad. From your father’s house to your husband’s side, this is where your place is. This shouldn’t come with a heavy price of physical or mental abuse. Mental abuse can take the form of verbal criticism, emotional blackmail or verbal threats. “You’re no good; I’ll only give your grocery money if...; I’ll tell your parents that ...”
If husbands are bullying you into staying silent and not reaching out for help, think of it as a “wake up” call. Is this marriage working in the best interest for you, or your husband? Reaching out may help your relationship. It may give men the opportunity to learn new ways of communication and solving problems. Social support and improved self-esteem can lead to better decision making for your own personal health.
Every city has a Social Services network. The counselors understand the delicate position women are in when they reach out for help. Make the call for your own good health! Look up “Social Services” in your city - Brampton/ Mississauga/Toronto.