Comic strip movie critic The Vigil Idiot's 10 worst Bollywood movies of the year: "Ra.One" and "Desi Boyz" included.
We’ve seen all sorts of records being broken.
These include Salman Khan releasing two movies that shattered all-time opening week box-office numbers.
"Ra.One" establishing itself as the most expensive Bollywood movie ever made, and Shahrukh Khan conducting the world’s most elaborate Pavlovian Experiment, where you now want to slap him every time you see an ad for one of the gazillion products he endorsed this year in an effort to promote this movie.
And of course, amidst all this awesomeness, was a bunch of movies that never deserved to see the light of day.
Some were bad compared to the hype they got before their release, and others were just bad, no matter what standard you put them up against.
Presenting, in chronological order, The Vigil Idiot’s worst movies of 2011 reviewed for your viewing pleasure.
'Game'
This Abhishek Bachchan starrer aimed at being a murder mystery that would have made Agatha Christie proud.
It had all the elements: four strangers summoned to a remote location by a mysterious stranger, a death under shady circumstances, and an earnest cop who tries to bust a drug smuggling cartel -- by starting a bigger drug smuggling cartel.
Yes, it’s a true wonder this story didn’t work.
'Haunted 3D'
The promos for "Haunted" boasted much about it being “India’s First Stereoscopic 3D Film.”
Which was ironic considering how one-dimensional the acting and the story actually was.
This film had everything from frisky ghosts to time travel. Alas! When your leading man is Mahakshay Chakraborty, the man who shows fewer emotions than a wooden board, chances are that you’re not looking at a very good piece of cinema … ghost sex, notwithstanding.
'Love U … Mr. Kalakaar!'
When I first heard that "Love U ... Mr. Kalakaar!" ("Love U... Mr. Artist!") was a movie about a guy with my namesake -- Sahil -- who also just happens to be a cartoonist, I thought to myself: "How do you rip apart what sounds like it could be your life story, right?"
Of course, that was before I saw the film.
So you know how you always wonder who will play you in the movie of your life? Take it from me, folks. You do not want that guy to be Tusshar Kapoor!
'Murder 2'
Where do I start about the cinematic behemoth that is "Murder 2"?
For one thing, it stars Emraan Hashmi donning a wet mop for a wig, with a story copied from a random foreign language film, and posters copied from other random foreign language films (sample here and here).
I could go on, but the true genius of the movie is epitomized in the following sequence.
'Gandhi To Hitler'
Ah, "Gandhi to Hitler"! Gun to head, I would pick this as both the worst movie of the year, and my favorite.
I mean, how do you not love a historical movie so factually inaccurate that it is offensive to literally every group represented in it?
We have entire sequences with Gandhi’s entourage which was, apparently, dominated by young female groupies and the Himalayas doubling up as the Swiss Alps.
The writers’ best stuff, however, was saved for ze Germans!
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